OMG!! Bert and Ernie are gay? When the hell did this happen? Why didn’t
anybody tell me? They’re considering getting married? When? OMG!!! OMG!!! How did I miss this. I’ve been watching Bert and Ernie since 1969 and never even suspected for one minute that they were gay.
What the hell are ya gonna tell me next…..that Miss Piggy and Kermit have had out-of-wedlock sex!!! OMG!!! No wonder Bristol Palin and the whole Palin family are running around all over Alaska popping out kids like they were going out of style. It’s all Sesame Streets fault.
Damn you Bert, Ernie, Kermit and Miss Piggy.
Um, wait a minute. I may have read this story too quickly. Hmmmmm.
Ok…..I DID read it too quickly folks. Apparently Bert and Ernie are straight, but, there’s been an online campaign on Facebook and at a website, “www.change.org” to have Bert and Ernie declare that they are gay and that they should get married as a way to encourage tolerance to gay people. So far the site has 9,000 signatures. Mostly from other puppets. I think.
“Educational Workshop,” the group behind the 40-year-old TV series dismissed the notion of a made for TV, same-sex puppet wedding in response to that on-line campaign. So I guess all preparations for the wedding are officially off which include the caterer, the florist shop, the minister and all the invitations sent out to other notable puppets.
In a statement to “Entertainment Tonight” Kukla, of “Kukla, Fran and Ollie, the famous trio from the early sixties puppet show said:
“I’m completely devastated. I just purchased a new human hand to manipulate my mouth for the event.”
Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring, of the old Howdy Doody show, also had a terse comment for reporters when she was asked her reaction to the news that there would be no wedding:
“I’ve been in this here retirement home for 40 years now and this would have been my one chance to reunite with all of my old puppet friends. I’m really ticked off after all the clothes I bought for that wedding. Can’t somebody pull some strings to make it happen?”
Bert and Ernie so far have not made any comments to the press.
They’ve been together since 1969, have always shared a bedroom together, and are very seldom seen without each other in public. So the fact that they are not admitting that they are gay is a big disappointment to many supporters who thought this would have been a great opportunity to prove that gay people are human too and lead normal lives as puppets.
I’m rather disappointed myself. Perhaps Bert and Ernie still feel that not enough is being done to support gays. President Obama needs to go a step further in supporting gays and expand it to puppets as well with no strings attached.
Beyond that, the next on-line petition in support of gays should be recognition of gay animals. Dogs, cats, squirrels, possums, livestock, animals in zoos and any creatures on the face of the earth.
Animals of the word….unite! If it’s good enough for puppets, it’s good enough for you too.
So where the hell is the damn website for them?
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(UPDATE) Should the East coast get whacked with hurricane Irene, I assume power would be lost and MisfitWisdom would be unable to post a blog either on Sunday or Monday. Those of you with Quija boards may be able to access it as hurricanes do not affect deep states of meditation induced by using a Quija board or smoking marijuana. Your choice.