The “KISS” Of Death. Thanks To Gene Simmons and KISS.

Cancel those funeral plans you may have made in advance of whenever it is that you think you may kick the ol bucket. Here’s a deal you just can’t pass up if you’re a KISS fan.


Yep, an honest to goodness KISS casket from blood-spitting Gene Simmons and the rest of the KISS members comes this one in a lifetime offer.

I emphasize “once in a lifetime” offer because obviously you only die once, hence, the “once in a lifetime” offer.

For a mere $5,000 you can get a casket adorned with the faces of members of the original KISS band and the words, “KISS Forever” engraved on the casket.  Such a deal.

“Forever” being the key word here folks. Like in “dead.”

Simmons says, “If you want to take that final trip with the band, you can.”

I’m assuming that when YOU take that final trip, the band will not necessarily be going along with you for the entire trip. My guess anyhow.

Simmons unveiled the coffin last week at the “Licensing Trade Show” which I assume is a trade show where one obtains licensing for new products….including coffins.

Now, if you have no plans of dying immediately, Simmons says that perhaps you could use the coffin/casket as an end table  in your home just so that you can get some good use out of it before you croak.  Makes a good conversation piece as well. Or, I’m thinking that you could also use it in place of your current bed just to get the feel of things.

Not only that, but if you just happen to buy the farm while you’re sleeping in it one night, it might be a lot easier for the undertaker to transport your butt to the funeral home in one fell swoop rather than have to go through all of the trouble of hauling you out of the house and then placing you in the casket.

Might wanna wear your best clothes to bed each night and put on some makeup. Just to be on the safe side. Might even save your relatives a few bucks in the long run if the undertaker doesn’t have to do all of that stuff. More money for them to spend from your estate once you’re gone.

There will only be 2,500 of these caskets available, so you’d better place your order now before they go. There are a lot of KISS fans out there that just “dying” to take advantage of this offer.

You can go to the KISS website and place your order at Only a few selected funeral homes across the country will be carrying these caskets so you better act fast.

I’m tempted to say, “but wait, if you order now you not only get the KISS-KASKET but we’ll even throw in a KISS cell phone just in case you do use the casket to sleep in every night and someone thinks you’re dead and they haul you away before you wake up.”

Might as well be prepared jusssssst in case.  My motto anyhow.

I’m personally going to pass on this one.  I like the group and a lot of their songs, but I’m gonna hold out until my favorite group comes out with their own casket line.

That would be “The Scorpions.”  Ya see, if I’m gonna go for anything engraved or pictured on the side of my casket it’s going to be something like a damn scorpion which will ward off any creatures that crawl around under the ground just waiting to feast on me.  I’m not stupid ya know.

(DONATE) The PayPal donate link is below. If it is not highlighted, copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site. If by chance you get there, and its verrrrrry dark, I may have already bought the farm. So ya better hurry up and do it now before it’s too late.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV


"Hey long did ya say I had to hold my tongue out?"

"The Scorpions." My choice for a personalized casket.

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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