Mom, Dad….are ya there? Hello…..it’s me….Misfit! You remember don’t ya….the little scrawny kid who left home years ago to pursue a career in radio broadcasting after you told me not to do it because I didn’t have any talent other than being able to play the Star Spangled Banner using my armpits.
Mom….Dad….surely you remember me. I know you’re in there because Matt Mullenweg the co-founder of this blog site “WordPress” said anyone on WordPress is a part of the family. HEY! Are ya listening!!!
Geez, I know it’s been a long time but I’ve been kinda busy with my own life. Come on, give me a break here. Look at all I’ve accomplished.
I went into radio broadcasting as a disc jockey, drove a taxi cab between radio jobs, (I got fired a lot) spent time in the U.S. Army until they told me to go home because I had trouble getting out of foxholes after I dug them too deep, delivered mail for the U.S. Post Office (3 years) part-time, but couldn’t get a full-time job with them because they said I wasn’t qualified, worked for AAA dispatching tow trucks until I got fired from there for using my name “Dick” in a conversation. (those people at AAA simply have no sense of humor)
Then I went to work for a telephone company as a line assigner assigning lines to people who needed lines assigned to them. (way too complicated to explain to ya) Then got a job as a chauffeur at a casino driving obnoxious celebrities and run of the mill gamblers all over the place, and then retired so that I could write this blog and a couple of books.
Mom….dad….are ya paying attention here. I know you’re in there somewhere. Matt said I’m a part of the family and I wanna come to dinner Um…..while I’m visiting you can I go up to my ol room in the attic and see if I can find those old Playboy magazines I stashed between the eaves?
I guess they’re not there. I know Matt said I was family, but, um….I don’t recall having any brothers or sisters. Except for a half-sister, but, um…..she doesn’t look anything like Matt. Maybe Matt moved in after I left and took over my family. Yeah….that’s it…..Matt moved in, my parents adopted him, he went on to co-found WordPress with the money he made from selling my collectible Playboy magazines and started this huge worldwide family.
He’s just forgotten that I was part of it. MATT!!!! Are ya out there. Did you move in after I left? Did you find my old Playboy magazines too?
Damn it! I bet he DID find them, cashed them in because they were from the 50’s and they were worth some bucks, then took the money and used it to create WordPress. Rats!!!
No wonder no one’s answering me. They knew I’d be ticked off if I found out they sold my magazines. I bet he cut mom and dad in on the cash he got from selling them too. And I bet they retired with all that cash and are living in some condo in Florida.
OMG!!! I’ve been disowned by my own family.
MATT!!! MATT!!! It’s me….Misfit!! I’m here on WordPress. Quit ignoring me….I’m family…..you said so yourself.
Hmmmmm. Wait a second. I don’t think Matt Mullenweg is Italian. Maybe that’s why no one’s responding. Geez…..I’m sorry Matt, I just got carried away when you said I was family.
Thinking back, my family was kinda poor and we just barely made ends meet so I doubt seriously that you would have moved in with them or that they would have adopted you. I mean, look at you now…..obviously a multimillionaire and head of a huge company like WordPress.
Sorry….I apologize for the mistake.
I guess writing this daily blog on WordPress does make me part of a family in some ways. The WordPress family.
Matt, I don’t know if it’s logical to consider adopting an old guy who writes blogs, but if you ever consider actually adopting a senior, (hey, it’s worth a shot) I hope you take me into consideration.
With all of my past experiences I really could be a valuable asset to you and WordPress.
Besides having a great speaking voice crafted from all those years in radio broadcasting, I could drive you around with my chauffeuring experience, deliver your mail first hand, take care of all your telephone lines, and be able to call a cab for you in a heartbeat. AND….if you ever need a foxhole…..I’m your guy.
Geez….I just might become part of a family yet.
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