Important News You May Have Missed By Spending Way Too Much Time In The Bathroom

Super action heroes Perryman and Bachmanngirl....here to save us all

Look, someone has to keep all of you informed as to what the hell is going on, so it might as well be me.  Considering I have nothing better to do other than keeping all of you informed.  Besides, unlike the rest of you, I go to the bathroom, do what I have to do, and get the heck out.  Otherwise I might miss something. I do save a lot of money on bathroom tissue.

Ok…..news you may have missed.

Rick Perry has entered the race to secure the nomination for the Republican party to run against President Obama in the 2012 elections.  Providing the Mayans were wrong and the world does not come to an end in 2012. Should he secure that nomination and be the standard-bearer, perhaps he should consider Michelle Bachmann as his VP running mate. Hey…it worked out fine for McCain!

The biggest news story this week was President Obama going on the road in a new bus, which is actually a fortified fortress conceived by the Secret Service. They ordered two of these busses from a Canadian manufacturer rather than have to outfit a new bus every time the president wants to take a trip.  The talking heads, (a lot of idiots who never read the facts or do any research) jumped on Obama for spending all that money on a bus when he could have simply taken a Greyhound or Trailways bus and perhaps even received a senior discount.

For those of you logically challenged, or just plain stupid, the Secret Service ordered the busses. Yes, taxpayer money paid for the two busses, but, the busses are also for other candidates the Secret Service has to protect including whoever secures the Republican nomination.  The secret service protects all candidates running for national office.  In fact, if anyone bothered to do some research, former President George W. Bush used a bus during his 2004 campaign tour.

BUT…that didn’t stop that guy with the funny name, Reince Priebus, Republican National Committee Chairman and whose last name partially contains the word “bus” in it from saying: “This is an outrage that the taxpayers of this country would have to foot the bill so that the campaigner-in-chief can run around in his Canadian bus and act if he is interested in creating jobs in our country.”

Um……W’s bus was manufactured by the Canadians too. OMG!!!

On another note. Republican  presidential candidate Mitt Romney apparently can’t think beyond the ol box either. His quote: Mr. Obama should “stay in Washington and call Congress back to work.”  Hmmm….are we talkin’ about the same Congress that went on vacation right after the debt ceiling vote and isn’t due back until September? Geez…..Mr. President, what the hell are you doin’ taking a few days off?

On yet another Rick Perry note.  He said that he has serious doubts about global warming.  This is where scientists are worried about the earth getting warmer thereby causing the earth to heat up and bald guys getting sun stroke. Even though a majority of scientists, (including Megamind) have concluded that pollution released from the burning of fossil fuels is heating up the planet.  I’m not sure what to believe either but……um…..hold on a second…….

Ok, sorry, I was just making my lunch and the two eggs I put out on my front sidewalk to cook are about done…..

Onward.

From France comes the story that Coco Chanel, (no relation to Coco Crisp, Oakland Athletics) might have been a spy for the Nazi’s.  You remember the Nazi’s don’t ya?  Yep, all those guys that walked kinda funny and kept yelling out some guys name, Sieg Heil or something. Well a new book by a Paris-based American historian, Hal Vaughn, (no relation to either Vaughn Monroe or Vaughn Meader) claims that Coco was an agent for Germany’s Abwehr military intelligence organization and also had an affair with Baron Hans Gunther von Dincklage. (I think they called him “Dink” for short)

After the war, Chanel was arrested but released hours later and saved by the intervention of her old friend Winston Churchill and then she fled to Switzerland in an attempt to meet up with the Von Trapp family and secure a role in “The Sound Of Music.” (I made that last part up)

On a lighter note, TV host David Letterman has been threatened by a frequent contributor to a jihadist website who has been urging Muslim followers to “cut” the tongue of the late-night host because of a joke the comic made on his CBS show.  Apparently Letterman had, “put his hand on his neck and demonstrated the way of slaughter” when referring to Osama bin Laden.

I’m not quite sure what the joke was there, or why that guy was so bent outta shape over what Letterman did considering that many times I myself do the same thing when referring to my ex wives and the IRS. Oops…..now I’ll be getting threats. Rats!

So my fine feathered friends, that’s all, or at least most of the important news stories that you may have missed this week. Now that the weekend is finally here, you can take all of this information, head out to your local nightspot, sit next to some hot babe, and strike up an interesting conversation based on the information I just gave you.

Warning:  Do NOT attempt to use any of this information while attempting to score with any blondes.

Except for the “Megamind” reference, as most blondes like that movie and think the cartoon character is really cool.

(DONATE)  The PayPal donate link is below. If it is not highlighted, copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to PayPal should you actually care to donate and help me buy a damn griddle so that I can cook eggs inside instead of on the sidewalk.

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=2XV24LPUYGU4Y

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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