I started doing crossword puzzles a few years ago when I came across one in a doctor’s office. It was either do the crossword puzzle, or stare at other people in the waiting room, read the doctor’s office magazines, “Colonoscopy Monthly” “Prostate Exams For Dummies” and “Pain Weekly,”or shoot myself out of sheer boredom.
Now I’m hooked. I do a crossword each and every day and have a really neat crossword dictionary to look up words that I have no idea what the heck they mean. My old book is so worn out I have to order a new one, (pictured) which updates the old one, and has a lot more new words which will undoubtedly contain more words that I’ll have no idea what the hell they mean.
(if you’re looking at that picture of the book above, you can’t click on the image to see what’s inside unless you go to Amazon.com. This blog is still in the stone age as far as technical stuff is concerned)
The new book, the best on the market in my opinion, “Million Word Crossword Dictionary,” is by Stan Newman and you can go to his site, http://www.stanxwords.com to check it out or go directly to Amazon.com. No, I’m not getting paid to plug this book. It’s just a freebie from MisfitWisdom and also because Stan was kind enough to e-mail me to let me know his new book was out. (only because I bugged the hell outta him because my old book was falling apart) Thanks Stan.
Anyhow, you would think that after doing crossword puzzles for a few years now that I’d actually learn something besides the fact that when those brainy people who create crosswords need a three-letter word it’s either “Gnu” for that stupid animal, “Ida” for Ida Lupino, “Ono” for Yoko Ono or they dig into their Latin words that nobody in their right mind knows and you have to look it up. That and Roman numerals. WTF!!
Who in their right mind knows Roman numerals? Maybe Romans….but….that’s it!!
So, have I learned anything doing crossword puzzles? Not exactly. Because most of what I look up in that book does not remain embedded in my brain two seconds after I write it in the crossword blocks.
For instance. Why would I retain this word. “lechwe.” In my entire life I’ve never heard of or used that dumb word. So what does it mean? It means “mammal” or “antelope.” WTF!! Why don’t those crossword people just say that! Do ya think if I spotted a antelope walking across the road I’d yell out, “Hey…look, it’s a lechwe!” Definitely not gonna remember THAT word.
And here’s another one. “refulgent.” Oh yeah….sure….that means in English, “aglow,” “shiny,” “ablaze,” brilliant,” etc.
“Hey Harry, quick, grab that hose over there and help me put out that fire that’s refulgent!”
“Refulgent! Refulgent! Ya know, ablaze!”
“Geez Ralph, why didn’t ya just say that!”
I’ve always said that there are way too many words in the English language as it is. A million is far more than I myself need. I don’t even know where the heck Newman would even store those words in his house when he was writing his new book. One can only wonder how much memory he has in his hard drive….and mind for that matter. Bet if I were to have a conversation with him I’d need his book to figure out what the hell he was talkin’ about.
Which is why I’m ordering his new book, which damn well better contain one word that was NOT in the last “Million Word Crossword Dictionary”…….”supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”Good thing I watched Mary Poppins.
Now, if they only make a Disney movie about Roman numerals that has a catchy song I might be able to figure out what CXMC times LLVX equals.
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