Ladies and Gentlemen. From The Fine State Of Nebraska, Another Stupid Politician

"Hey. If Bruning was stupid enough to leave the keys in the ignition....what the hell!"

You know the old saying, “from out of the woodwork.”  It’s true!  Just when you all thought it was safe to put away the spray can of Raid, along comes yet another politician from out of the woodwork to insert his foot into his mouth.

Hope his shoe size wasn’t EEE.

Now folks, I’m not picking on Republicans. It just turns out that Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning whose also running for the U.S. Senate, was the one who made a comment about welfare recipients. Yes, if it was a Democrat or any other party I’d do the same thing.  I just love stupid politicians regardless of what party they’re from. Makes me kinda giddy.

Only because I’m not as smart as most politicians, I can say stupid things and no one really cares, and they’re the ones who are supposed to be smarter than yours truly. Which is one of the reasons I never want to run for any political office. That and the Fruit of the Loom underwear photos of myself that may eventually turn up on the web.

Anyhow, Mr. Bruning who was making an appearance at the Heartland Liberty Fest last Saturday (I guess where they celebrate liberty or something) on behalf of the Libertarian Party, Americans for Prosperity and the Nebraska Republican Party, apparently used the wrong comparison when referring to people on welfare and raccoons.

Personally I’ve never heard of any raccoons on welfare, so the story intrigued me.  I thought perhaps Nebraska might recognize raccoons as part of their population and thereby allow them to be accepted on the state’s welfare programs.  Hey, ya never know.

Might be one of the reasons Nebraska lists their state’s population as 1,800,000. Lots of raccoons.

Bruning was attempting to make a point about the welfare system when he was talking about environmental reevaluation when he referred to raccoons pursuing beetles in a jar at a road construction site.

“The raccoons figured out that the beetles are in the bucket.”

Whatever the hell that means. Not actually being there I have to only assume that raccoons were out looking for beetles and discovered that they were in a bucket somewhere at a construction site and this prompted Bruning to start his raccoon remarks in that manner. He went on:

“And it’s like grapes in a jar. The raccoons, they’re not stupid, they’re gonna do the easy way if we make it easy for them. Just like welfare recipients all across America if we don’t send them to work they’re gonna take the easy route.”

So, what this apparently means is that if we do not find jobs for raccoons all across America, they will simply apply for welfare, because it’s the easiest way to have the funds to buy beetles rather than have to forage for themselves in some old construction bucket. Besides, you know how rancid beetles can get after being in a bucket for a while. Yuk!

Trent Fellers, (nice name for a movie star) who is Bruning’s campaign manager quickly issued a statement saying:  “It was an inartful statement and one Jon regrets making. As attorney general, he’s been a strong supporter of welfare reform and giving welfare recipients a hand up and not just a handout.”

Wonder if this includes raccoons too?

So, of course, this made the World Wide Web, along with the World Wide Raccoon Web, which I’m sure most of you have heard of, and now its all over the news.  Boy does he feel stupid.  But, he’s apologized for using that analogy and at last report welfare recipients have accepted his apology along with those beetles in that bucket and various raccoon organizations.

Some raccoons have even taken off their masks to reveal their true identities, some of whom were Democrats who originally brought this story to light.

In conclusion, if you happen to be a raccoon living in Nebraska, masked or unmasked, and on welfare, fear not.  You will not be singled out again in any further comments made by attorney general Jon Bruning.

You beetles however, you’re in deep trouble……..once the raccoons figure out if you’re actually in a bucket or a jar. I’m still attempting to figure that one out myself. Or what the hell all this has to do with beetles and raccoons.

(Donate) The usual PayPal donate link is below. If it is not highlighted, copy and paste it into your jar or bucket…um…no, that’s not right, um, copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to PayPal where you can donate, if you so choose, and part of your donation will go towards providing welfare funds for needy raccoons in Nebraska.  It’s the right thing to do.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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