Startling Revelation: Corporations Are People. OMG!!!

"Hey ya twenty bucks that hay yer standin' on was donated by some big friendly corporation!

Memories of the old Barbra Streisand song “People.”

“People, people who need people, are the luckiest people in the world.”

Or, in the Mitt Romney rendition: “People, people are really corporation people, and they’re the luckiest people in the world.”

Good ol Mitt Romney, Republican presidential hopeful should have broke into a chorus of “People” when he was confronted by hecklers in Iowa Thursday as he addressed his supposed supporters at the Iowa State Fair.

It went like this:

During his bales of piled up hay perch speech he said that raising taxes on individuals, (usually us lowly middle class and poor slugs) was an option, but he said that he opposed it.

At that point about a dozen hecklers, (most likely lowly middle class and poor slugs) started shouting at him saying:
“Corporations! Corporations!”  Suggesting that corporations should take the brunt of new taxes.

OMG!!!  Those poor corporations. My Gawd,. What the hell is wrong with those hecklers.

Romney smartly responded with: “Corporations are people my friend.” (which is something I personally really was not aware of, but am now thanks to Mitt)

The crowd then responded with:  “No, they’re not!”

Then Mitt responded with:  “Of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to people. (it does?)  Where do you think it goes?”

Crowds in turn, respond by shouting back that the money goes into corporate pockets.

Now Mitts turn: “Whose pockets? People’s pockets? Human beings my friend.”

(at this point he really should have broken into a verse from Streisand’s song, but did not. Might have calmed the crowd down a bit)

So, with this new revelation that corporations are actually people, which, as I said earlier, I was not aware of, I immediately called one of my favorite corporations, Bank of America, and invited them to a cookout in my backyard this weekend. Because, as you all know, I am a people kinda person, and the more people I know, the happier it makes me.

“Hello, is this Bank of America’s corporate office?”

“Yes sir, how may I help you?”

“Well, my ol friend, and I use the word friend because when Mitt Romney gave a speech in Iowa on Thursday, he used the word “friend” with regard to everybody, so that makes me his friend too, and…oh…sorry…got carried away there for a minute…um….anyhow I want to invite all of my friends from Bank of America to a cookout in my backyard this weekend.”

“Sir, you do realize that Bank of America is a huge trillion billion gazillion dollar corporation and we simply do not have time to go to a backyard cookout unless it was being put on by Warren Buffet or Bill Gates, two of the richest men in the world.  Are you that rich?”

“Um, no, but I’m buying all of the hamburgers and dogs. It’s the least I can do for all that your corporation has done for us lowly human beings. Mitt Romney told me that all of the money you and other corporations make go into human beings pockets.  And, me being a human being, I’m sure at some point you’ll be putting some of that money into my pocket.”

“Why would we be doing that sir?”

“Because Mitt says you do.”

“Sir, do you even have an account with Bank of America?”

“Um, yeah, a checking and savings account.”

“And do you have direct deposit and freely use that account to make payments, withdraw money and use your debit card?”

“Yeah, so what does that mean?”

“It means that we’re putting money into your pocket if you use any of those services provided by Bank of America.  So you see, Mr. Romney was correct.”

“But ma’am, it’s my own money that’s going into my pocket!”

“Sir, let’s not get technical here, money is money and it’s going into your pocket from Bank of America!  Doesn’t matter where it comes from. If it’s going into your pocket and not ours then what’s your problem?”

“Um….I dunno, I’m a bit confused, but I guess you and Mitt are right.  I never really looked at it that way before.”

“So, is there anything else I can help you with today sir?”

“Oh yeah, so are you all coming to my cookout?”


“Peeeeeeople…………peeeeeeople who neeeeed peeeeeeople…..are the wealthiest peeeeeeople in the world…………….

(DONATE) The PayPal donate link is below. (I borrowed it from some corporation) If it is not highlighted, copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to PayPal where you can generously donate a pittance to MisfitWisdom for creative work. Or, if you so choose, donate to any huge corporation of your choice, which, if Mitt Romney is correct, part of that donation will eventually wind up in my pocket.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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