FBI Says It Has A New Lead On D.B. Cooper*

Gary Larson Cartoon

*For those of you not old enough to remember D.B. Cooper, I shall enlighten you.  Mr. Cooper, if that’s actually his real honest to goodness name, boarded an airplane, (Boeing 727) back in 1971 and proceeded to hijack it.

His demands consisted of a lot of things such as a ham sandwich on rye, one pickle and some porno movies.  Um, sorry, I just made that up.

Actually he demanded a ransom of $200,000 and he actually got it after the plane landed and he allowed the passengers to exit.  Then the jet took off again while the police and airport crew stood on the runway laughing…..I think.

“Haw Haw Haw Festus. Guess that there guy is really stoopid.”

“How do ya figure that Hoss?  He’s got $200,000, a ham sandwich with a pickle and some really good porno movies?”

“Yeah, but how in the hell is he gonna get off of that plane without gettin’ caught.  They’ll sure in hell catch him when he lands, Festus.  And you and I both know bringing porno movies on a plane is a federal offense.”

What Festus and Hoss and the authorities didn’t know was that ol D.B. had a plan. Which was to bail out of that Northwest Orient plane while it was flying over the Pacific Northwest, namely over Washington state.  Money and porno movies intact.  (I still made up the part about the porno movies just to give it some color)

D.B. was never caught, although some of the ransom money was recovered, so they say.

Now, the FBI says that new “credible” evidence has surfaced that may help them in their 40-year-old investigation.  No mention was made of exactly what that lead was, but I’m assuming it was some sort of item belonging to D.B. after reading the following statement issued by the FBI:

“With any lead our first step is to assess how credible it is. Having come through another law enforcement agency, having looked it over when we got it, it seems pretty interesting.”

Now, you notice they did not specifically indicate exactly what the lead was, but, did use the word “it” which leads me to believe that “it” is something worth looking into. Whatever “it” is.  And, as we all know, whenever the word “it” is used in an investigation, “it” could almost mean anything.

Like the wrapper from that porno movie he watched or part of his ham and pickle sandwich.  DNA ya know. My guess anyhow.

I know, you’re all thinking how in the hell could a sandwich survive all those years out in the wilderness. You’re correct. The ham sandwich would not survive, but, the pickle would, because anyone knows animals in the wilderness do not like pickles. I’m not stupid ya know.

So my guess is that the FBI somehow located that pickle and is performing DNA tests on it.  Brilliant.  Once they find out Coopers DNA, and, where he bought the pickle, it’s just a matter of time before they close in on him. Especially if he still has a thing for pickles.

My guess is that they would stake out all delis in places that Cooper used to frequent.  His freedom days are numbered.

Right now, if it is indeed a pickle, the FBI lab in Quantico, Va. is examining it. If it’s not the pickle, and it turns out that they found the porno movie videotape, I’m sure they’re examining that too…verrrrrry carefully.

So, the saga of what ever happened to D.B. Cooper continues on 40 years later. Now, nobody knows exactly how old D.B. was at the time he hijacked the plane. So let’s assume he was about 20 or 25, (wild guess) so that would make him about 60 years old or somewhere about.

So, besides staking out delis, the FBI should also state out assisted living homes, AARP membership rosters, local bingo halls, and, just in case D.B. may have sustained an injury bailing out of that plane, they should check out motorized scooter stores.  Hey, ya never know.  Cover all bases, that’s my motto.

One final note to the FBI.  Considering D.B. Cooper had a lot of money when he bailed out of that plane, and, may have simply invested it all into stocks and bonds until he amassed a fortune, you might wanna check into who the actual manufacturer of Mini Cooper automobiles are. The Internet lists BMW as the manufacturer, but, considering D.B. had a lot of money, may have fled to England, and his name IS “Cooper” it might be a good lead in the case.

Hey, Al Capone and Bugsy Siegel and all those other Mafia guys invested in businesses too, so why not Cooper. D.B. might have made BMW an offer they couldn’t refuse.

(DONATE)  The PayPal donate link is below. If it is not highlighted, copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site should you wish to donate, which, if enough donations are received, will allow me to travel to Washington state in search of any money D.B. Cooper may have left behind.

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=U8NQU9JSVCU4S

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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