Yep….today I sat down in front of this here computer thingy and found myself at a complete loss for words. Which is scary considering this “IS” “WORDpress” and here I am with no freakin’ words to press.
Unless you count the words I just typed above. But those are just words used to tell you that I don’t actually have any words worth writing. It happens a lot when you search for things to write about.
Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of things to write about if you scour the Internet, but, none worth wasting a bunch of words on. Words are very valuable to me and I just don’t want to waste them on stuff that nobody gives a rats behind about.
Considering the fact that a few weeks ago my computer was kaput, you’d think I’d be blabbing all sorts of stuff. But being stressed out those few days just made things worse. I had to start retraining myself into sorting out the stupid news stores vs the less stupid news stories and get back on track with the more important stupid news stories.
There’s the deficit, but what the hell can we slugs do about that? So why waste words on that subject. I have my own freakin’ deficit. Do ya think those politicians in Washington care about that! My deficit was so bad I couldn’t even afford to get my computer fixed. I had to pawn a few things, like my autographed photo of Pee Wee Herman, which I only got two bucks for, which accounts for one of the reasons it took me so long to get back on line. That, and the fact that nobody ever clicks on my “donate” PayPal link. I think I need to have a picture of a naked woman on that link or something.
Then there’s those huge news stories making the headlines that we’re all supposed to care about. “Rupert Murdoch Testifies Before Parliament” “News of the World” shuts down publication.” “The Beckham’s Have A Child,” “Jennifer Aniston’s New Movie Comes In Second,” “The Royal Couple Visit A Depressed Section of California,” “New Harry Potter Movie Makes Millions,” “Lindsay Lohan Arrested Again,” “Charlie Sheen Will Be Killed Off In The Return of 2 and 1/2 Men.”
WHAT!!! Charlie Sheen will be killed off! Holy crap! Stop the presses! Get Katie Couric Back! Call Rupert Murdoch and tell him to hold off shutting down that newspaper until after the Two and a Half Men show. Congress needs to stop all this talk about the deficit and concentrate on this new development. Prince William and his new bride need to get to a television set pronto. OMG!!! OMG!!! They’re gonna knock off Charlie Sheen! OMG!!!
Life as we know it will not be the same. The Mayans were right. Maybe even that bonehead pastor who said the world will end. This is the sign we’ve been waiting for….the demise of Charlie Sheen. OMG!!! OMG!!!
Millions will flock to their televisions sets on the night “Two and a Half Men” returns. Millions I tell ya. Television circuits will be overloaded and a massive blackout will occur thereby shutting down everything all across the United States. Alaska and Hawaii too, if you actually count them as being a part of the United States. I haven’t quite accepted that yet. As far as I’m concerned, if you’re not attached to the mainland, you are not part of the continental United States.
Continental means continent which they are not attached to, physically. I know, you can’t grasp that logic. Look, if you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and eat the peanut butter part separate from the jelly part, then it’s not a continental sandwich. It HAS to be one sandwich.
Hope that explains things for ya.
So, all that said, I went ahead and wasted a bunch of words anyhow. Which was not my original intention. These words could have been saved for another day when more important news required the necessity to use a bunch of words. Gawd knows there’s an entire dictionary full of unused words sitting right here next to me.
Watch, I’ll randomly open a page and blindly pic out one unused word just to show you how some words never get used…….
“Tourmaline” Definition: A complex silicate of aluminum occurring in various colors, the transparent varieties being esteemed as gemstones”
Well, there ya have it. A perfect example of a wasted word. Like, will I EVER use that one word in my lifetime?
I just should have stuck with some inane news item today and saved all of these words for tomorrow.
I’m looking at my word count for this blog and I’m already over nine hundred. A squandering of waaaaay too many words about nothing.
Which is also what my Funk & Wagnells has….words about nothing that no one ever uses…….such as the word…”tourmaline.” WTF!!
(DONATE) If you care to send a few bucks my way click on the “PayPal” link below if it is highlighted. If it’s not, copy & paste it into your browser and go to PP. This will allow me to purchase a new up to date dictionary with a lot of new unused words and maybe afford a tech if my computer goes kaput again.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV