Life Without The Post Office!!!! OMG!!!!

Ok, I’m the first to admit that I can’t imagine life on earth without the United States Postal Service, affectionately known as USPS or the place that sends out and also delivers “snail mail.”  Although I’ve personally never received a snail of any type in the mail.  I’ve had a kind of love hate relationship with them for as long as I can remember, which is usually a few minutes these days.

I look forward to going out to the mailbox each day with great anticipation. Will there be a check from my publisher for a few thousand dollars, royalties from my non selling book?  Will I get a letter from an attorney saying that a long-lost relative passed away leaving me a fortune?  Did the IRS make a mistake on last years taxes and they owe me a few hundred dollars?

And why is it, by the way, that when you own the IRS taxes and don’t pay it right away, they add interest and penalties, but if they owe you, there’s no interest and penalties that you can levy on them?

Anyhow, none of those surprise letters ever arrive in my mailbox. Just junk mail and the usual bills. I’m on everybodys junk mail list and owe a gazillion dollars in bills.  But, I still like the idea of going out to the mailbox each day. Maybe it’s a generational thing because most people today send letters and greeting cards, as well as do their banking and pay their bills on-line.

The result of all this on-line activity is that the USPS is in serious trouble, running a deficit of more than $8 billion dollars last year.

For the most part the postal service was self-sufficient and did not depend on taxpayer money to survive.  But, since the Internet has cut into its business it has had to borrow from the U.S. Treasury to pay its deficits.  And it’s not going to get any better.  What to do?

Go back to making stamps that you lick for one thing.  Only this time introduce flavored stamps or perhaps stamps that can be tied into your daily prescriptions. Say for instance that you take a prescription for high cholesterol.  The USPS could cut a deal with a pharmaceutical company to manufacture a stamp containing your medication that, when you lick it, you not only can mail a letter, but get your daily meds.  How simple is that!

(people taking Viagra coated stamps should be cautioned not to lick any until they get home)

Or, perhaps the USPS could merge with a fast food company like McDonald’s, Burger King or Pizza Hut and kill two birds with one stone.  My apologies to any birds reading this.  Call in your order for fast food and you not only get your mail delivered, but a burger, fries, and a pizza.

This concept can also be used for other mergers to help the post office remain solvent.  Get your mail and a 2 by 4 from the Post-Home-Depot.

Or, all three major delivery services could merge thereby calling themselves, UPSFEDEXUSPS, or FEDUPSUSPSUPS, or perhaps, for short, FEDUP.

Ya see, there’s all kinds of possibilities out there.  These people just aren’t using their heads to come up with some constructive ideas to save the postal service.  Why is it I have to do all of the thinking…..geez.

Hey, here’s another brilliant idea.  Why not issue stamps that have continuing stories on them. You know, like those TV drama series such as “Survivor,” “The Killing,” soap operas.  Each week issue a book of stamps with a storyline and to follow the story you have to buy a book of stamps every week thereafter until the series is over. Brilliant!

My favorite postal moment is, as I said earlier, looking forward to my trip out to the mailbox each day.  Sometimes, If I luck out, I actually get to meet my postal rural carrier.  One of the highlights of my day.

Um, do you get the feeling that my days aren’t filled with too much excitement?

I just don’t want to see the USPS end mail delivery or go out of existence. It would almost be as bad as losing my TV rabbit ears, VCR, 8-track player, 45 rpm records and my refrigerator with a huge block of ice in it to keep things cold. Refrigerators in Italy, by the way, were formally known as icea-boxes.

Nope, I wanna feel the actual feel of a letter in my hands. The sensual excitement of guessing who a letter is from before I actually open it up. The comforted feeling I get when I open up my mailbox and see that my months supply of tranquilizers have arrived.  And the excitement at receiving my monthly edition of Playboy Magazine. (for my other half, it’s getting her copy of crocheting monthly)

So I think we should all think seriously about supporting the USPS. It’s an American institution that should simply not be cast aside. Run to your local post office today and support them by buying stamps and mailing letters. Print this blog and give it to them to show your support, and to give them a few ideas.  Save America’s most valuable asset….the USPS.

Gotta go now. Have to send out some e-mails and birthday cards and pay a few bills on-line.


(DONATE) PayPal link (below) takes you to PayPal. If it is not highlighted, simply copy & paste it into your browser and it takes you directly to PayPal if you care to donate. Helps me to buy more stamps to support the USPS.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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