Do Ya Think The Pope Follows Me On Twitter?

Thnx to Mike Luckovich, Atlanta-Journal Constitution

Ok, I’m the first to admit that I really do not have a lot of followers on Twitter. It’s not like I’m a huge celebrity or something.  I think my last count of followers was 26, which is kind of measly considering I’ve been on Twitter for over four years, post this blog everyday, and put a link on Twitter as well.

Actually, that’s really not bad considering I haven’t posted my wiener bulge on Twitter. I refuse to do that just to gain followers, and also due to the fact that if I should ever opt to run for any political office in the future, those photos might just pop up.

Now I see that the Pope has a Twitter account.  I’m kinda torn as to sending him a request to follow me.  I mean, having the Pope follow me on Twitter could be a big boost for my blog.  Not to mention the big in I would have when it comes to praying to hit the lottery. I’m very faithful and pray to God each and every day that I’ll hit the lottery.

Hey, if God isn’t listening to the Pope, he’s not gonna listen to me. I’m quite sure God does listen to the Pope otherwise why would the Pope be on Twitter in the first place.

“Hey God, this is the Pope.  Look, I’m kinda thinkin’ perhaps to gain more followers we should broaden our horizons and get ourselves a Twitter account, whaddya think?”

“Hmmmm. Well my son, there are a lot of sinners on Twitter, as I have observed following the Antny Weiner bulge Fruit of The Loom scandal. According to my Heaven technical staff, more people logged onto Twitter to follow that story than they did when you posted photos of your new Popemobile.”

“See God, that’s what I mean.  By the way, and no disrespect God, but if you had approved my request for the first Popemobile design I might have had more followers.”

“Benedict, Benedict….geez……I know you’re in Italy but a Popemobile designed after a Lamborghini is way outta my budget.”

“Hey, I’m just sayin’…………..

“Yes I know, but ya gotta put things in perspective.  Heaven is a nice quiet place with all kinds of clouds and flying angels. What kind of image would you be projecting if you rode around in some flashy sporty looking Popemobile?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right….sorry.”

“Look Benny, just go ahead and log on to Twitter and get us an account and begin posting simple but plain inspirational messages that will draw in the flock.”

“Like how simple God?”

“Um, something like, “Hi, this is Pope Benedict from Rome, and today I’m posting my first Twitter message from the Pope bathroom where I’m shaving with my Pope razor using Pope shaving lather and then, when I’m finished I’ll splash some Popespice on my face to feel really refreshed.”

“But God, how is all that personal stuff gonna attract the masses, it’s all very personal stuff.”

“Ben, Ben….trust me here.  Your average Twitter type person likes to know that they’re communicating with an average type down to earth guy, and, considering I’m up here in Heaven, and you’re down there on earth, doesn’t it seem kinda logical that they’d then be able to see that you’re just like one of them?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right God. I never thought of it that way before. I’ll keep my tweets down to earth and simple.”

“Good Pope, now you’ve got it.  Good luck. Gotta go now. Peter Falk is on his way up and I want to personally greet him. God I love that guy…um…oops, I meant Christ I love that….oh gee, that’s me too,…um…..gee whiz I love that guy.”

“Ok, thanks God. Is there anything else before I let ya go?”

“Oh yeah.  If you intend on following anyone on Twitter make sure they’re upstanding loyal every day type Christians who pray faithfully to me. Except for that one guy who keeps praying to me to hit the lottery.  Cheapskate never leaves anything in the donation box on Sundays yet he has the nerve to put his own donation box in his blog.”

“Ok God, see ya.”

“See ya Ben…..God bless…um…oops that’s me….um…..Christ be with you….geez, that’s me too…um…..may the force be with you my son.”

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV


(My own donation box link to PayPal is below if you copy and paste it into your browser if it’s not in blue. I already promised God I’d give him a cut)


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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2 Responses to Do Ya Think The Pope Follows Me On Twitter?

  1. Doc says:

    I don’t twitter to current or former dj’s. Fairness Doctrine and all…Next you’d want Satan’s viewpoint and I wouldn’t want that.

    I try to stay clean, using my


    Big Ben

    PS. By the way, lotteries are for losers. Wieners are for winners

    • misfit120 says:

      Spoken from a person who plays penny slots. : )

      Click here for my daily blog.

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