I’m Ahead Of My Time, But, I Thnk I’m Still Late.

NBC News anchor John Cameron Swayze

Did you ever have anyone tell you that you’re ahead of your time. Perhaps you’re creative, and a lot of your ideas and actions are ahead of what others might think or do.

I’ve been told I’m ahead of my time as well.  Mostly when I go to a doctor’s appointment and the receptionist tells me I’m an hour early.  At which point I have to sit in the waiting room and read National Geographic magazines, most of which are behind their time because they’re usually two or three years old. What the hell’s with that anyhow?

Speaking of that, did you ever notice that there are never any good books to read in doctor’s offices.  Most of the books there are what the doc reads. “Brain Surgery Monthly,” “Lobotomy Weekly,” “Popular Transplant Mechanics,” and the ever popular “Good Surgery Housekeeping Magazine.”

Anyhow, as far as being ahead of my time, I tried, on many occasions, to be behind in my time so as to avoid getting fired from my various radio broadcasting jobs. The humor I did on the radio, similar to what you read here, was obviously ahead of everybody’s time, so I got canned a lot, for, being waaay too far of everybody’s time, including my own.  Even tried changing watches and not paying attention to the calendar. Lest I be ahead of my time once again.

But, it never worked. I remained ahead of my time, still got fired a lot, eventually gave up on radio broadcasting, and took menial jobs that kept me behind my time and unnoticed.

The problem here is that there were other people who were ahead of their time as well.  But, unlike me, they had connections to protect them from those behind the time people. And they had better watches than me….Rolex’s or something.  Ya can’t screw with people who are ahead of their time if they’re wearing a Rolex watch. I wore, for the most part, a Timex, but knowing John Cameron Swayze didn’t help.

I know, most of you are saying, who the freak is John Cameron Swayze. For you children out there, Swayze was one of the first TV news reporters on NBC.  Eventually he went on to do Timex watch ads in which his famous catch phrase about the Timex watch was, “takes a licking but keeps on ticking.”

I believe, but I could be mistaken, that this phrase was later adopted by a house of ill repute in Arizona advertising their ladies of the evening, , but, again, I could be wrong.

I’ve come to accept that I will always be ahead of my time, by at least 20 or 30 years, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Which is why, for the most part I’m broke and writing this blog for zip.  Anyone who would pay to read this stuff is actually behind me in time. So I’m basically screwed….and broke.

The late Walt Disney realized that he too was ahead of his time but hung in there by diverting his attention from his real love, pest control, and owning a pest control business. Yeah, all that Disneyland and Disneyworld stuff was just a distraction to him.

Ya see, he couldn’t break into the pest control business back then, in the 1920’s, because there were not a lots of pests around, so he opted to fool around with drawing pictures of mice, hence Micky mouse, and you know the rest. See, he was also ahead of his time.  Which is why his body is frozen somewhere so that eventually when he is no longer ahead of his time, they can unfreeze him and he can then go into the pest control business……his first love.

I’ve also given some consideration to being frozen so that I too can catch up to my time, or let my time catch up to me. I’m not sure which one it is. Think I’ll let those cryonic type freeze guys figure that one out for me.

In the meantime, I’m going to start watching those old programs on “TV Land” just in case I missed something by being way ahead of my time.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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