By now you’ve all figured out that I don’t make a damn cent writing this blog every day. The only reason I write this stuff each and every day is so that those of you accessing this at work will have something to do other than the work that you’re getting paid to do. We all know how boring it can get at work. But, I have a tip on how all of you can get outta that damn office and start your own money making business.
(for those of you requiring a life saving surgical procedure, make sure your surgeon isn’t reading this blog while he’s preparing to cut you wide open. The rest of you slugs who are pushing paper right now are basically exempt)
Anyhow, the reason I’m mentioning work and boring, two words that obviously go together, is that there may be a way out for all of you seeking to make big bucks with the next hot business franchise. Body parts.
Yep. Body parts are the next hot item. Especially for the Baby Boomer crowd. This is an absolute guaranteed money-maker folks. Soon to be up there on the stock exchange with McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendys, oil companies, pharmaceuticals, Viagra and Trojan condoms.
A report out of San Diego, which the article does not explain why it’s out of San Diego, unless that’s where they have a lot of spare body parts, says that we’re becoming a nation of bum knees, worn-out hips and sore shoulders. Baby Boomer bones and joints are wearing out faster than Larry King’s wives. This is spawning a boom in operations to fix them.
Henceforth, a business opportunity for those of us seeking to make a gazillion bucks and get the hell out of that office.
For instance, knee replacement surgeries have doubled over the last decade and more than tripled in the 45-to-64 age group. We all know this is not good for the hooker business because they spend a lot of time on their knees. So there’s one example of supply and demand. Give a hooker a new set of knees = more business = prosperity for the body replacement business = a rise in the economy = more jobs = a great deal of satisfaction for you, and of course many other clients of hookers. Everybody wins.
Of course the cane, wheelchair and scooter business will obviously take a hit due to the eventual decline of those products due to body replacement parts. But what the hell, someone has to take a hit. That’s progress folks.
Tennis great Billie Jean King had a knee replacement, which comes in various models such as the “athletic knee,” the “custom knee,” the “male knee,” and the “female knee.” Which is great if you’re considering a sex change at the same time. King says that, “I wanted to make sure whatever they put in me was going to last.”
I have no idea what knee she opted for, considering she’s now 67 and not really competing in any events anymore, but I would think she may have chosen the “female knee” rather than the “male knee” based on my own theory that male knees are hairy and wouldn’t really look good on her. Unless of course, like many of us seniors, she gets cold and prefers some extra warmth on her legs.
There is a down side to joint and body part replacements. No one really knows how well these implants will perform in the active baby boomers getting them done now. Most studies were done in older folks whose expectations were to be able to do simple things like watch their grandchildren’s soccer game, go shopping at Wal-Mart, take a leisurely stroll through the park, and beat someone to a hot slot machine at a casino. Not really strenuous stuff.
Baby boomers are more active and into more challenging situations than those older folks who’ve had implants. No studies have been made, as of yet, as to the resilience of implanted body parts into boomers. So, if you’re one of the ones who’ve had something implanted, you might want to tone down any activities that might jeopardize your new body part implant until more research is done and possibly body part replacement stores appear in strip malls next to Staples, H & R Block, Home Depot, and Jiffy Lube.
Jiffy Lube, by the way, might be able to work out some sort of co-op deal with you if you open one of these body part stores should lubrication of your body parts become a possibility. Ya never know. Keep your options open, that’s my motto.
In the meantime, until such time as this body part replacement business takes off, it might be a good idea to be one step ahead of the body part game. Convince relatives and friends to will their body parts to you upon their demise thereby creating a huge stockpile of inventory. Be prepared. The early bird catches the ol worm ya know.
Oh….if you succeed in doing that, you might wanna invest in ice and freezer stock as well.
You know how old body parts can stink up a neighborhood. Next thing you know neighbors are complaining, the authorities are knocking on your door, then your business plan is exposed and you will have lost your edge on the market. It’s a cut throat dog eat dog world out there.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV
(Program note) For those of you who follow the JFK Assassination, tonight at 8pm DST, Mary Moorman, witness to the assassination and never before interviewed, most notably by the Warren Commission, will be interviewed on iantique.com and it will be streamed live.