Just the other day I was thinking to myself that I should really impress guests that come to my house with something really different. Something I could put on one of the shelves of my entertainment center that would really blow them away.
Besides the stuff I already have, like a photo of my other half with actor Jason Robards. Big draw when guests come over. Or that autographed baseball I got while attending a minor league game from an up and coming player who’s now retired and selling cars in Peoria, Illinois. Another big draw.
I figured I needed something really spectacular. Something that would make people gaze in complete awe. Like a moon rock. THAT would definitely be the mother lode of attractions. But, where would I get an actual moon rock?
Ya can’t just go to a moon rock store and buy one. They don’t come in cereal boxes. Pawn shops don’t have them. And it’s not like you can go to the moon, scoop one up, and bring it back home. I thought my quest for a moon rock was doomed until I read about a woman in Los Angeles who was selling them for a mere $1.7 million dollars. What a deal, I thought to myself. I could use my Capitol One credit card and be on my way.
Just as I was about to book my trip to LA, the moon rock woman gets nabbed by undercover NASA investigators for selling moon rocks, which, is illegal, because selling moon rocks is a no no due to the fact that they are considered national treasures. Who woulda guessed!
I never once imagined that a simple rock would be considered a national treasure. I mean, it’s not like finding gold in Colorado or something. What’s the big deal. A rock is a rock. I have millions of them in my back yard. Ok, Ok, I get it. Rocks from the moon are different from my rocks because they come from so far away. But if I were to get a rock from, say, California, which is also far away from my house, would that be considered a national treasure too?
I simply wanted a moon rock because it came from the moon. What’s the big deal? Anybody can go to the moon now. It’s not like we haven’t already been there. No big deal. I could see if it was a Mars or Venus rock or something, but the moon! That’s old news. Moon rocks should be in the same classification as Pet Rocks as far as I’m concerned.
What’s it been, forty years since those guys landed on the moon. Geez….after forty years you’d think other rocks from other places would be more valuable. I just wanted the damn rock as a conversation piece. It might not have even worked out considering moon rocks haven’t even been in the news since 1969. Well, at least not until those NASA agents nailed that woman for attempting to sell one.
Hey, maybe that’s it! Maybe the price of moon rocks has plummeted and sales were off at the NASA gift shop at the Kennedy Space Center, so they had to create a demand for them. Nailing a woman, who, by the way was not arrested or charged with anything, would surely make the news and make the price of moon rocks soar. It was all a publicity stunt by NASA to get those moon rock prices up again. Damn SOB’s.
So, I guess my chances of getting a really good deal on an actual moon rock is out of the question now that prices are going to skyrocket. I could see originally spending $1.7 million for a rock, but anything above and beyond that might put me over my limit on my Capitol One card. Then I’d have nothing in my wallet.
So I guess I’ll have to impress my house guests with that photo of Jason Robards.
Providing my guests are over 80 and actually remember who the hell Jason Robards was. (sigh)
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV