Author Claims Roswell Aliens Were Russians

"Seig Meow!!!

Ya know, here I was banging my head against a wall trying to figure out how to get my book on the best seller list, (The Covert Chamber) and then appear on national TV and make a gazillion dollars, when along comes author Annie Jacobsen with her book, “Area 51” that claims the Russians were the actual aliens that crashed in Roswell, New Mexico back in 1947, and she beats me to the ol punch.


Now if I had just gone ahead with my instincts and written that Adolf Hitler landed in a spaceship in Roswell along with Eva Braun, Martin Bormann and Josef Mengele, my book could be on the best seller list right now. But did I follow my instincts…noooooo!  Did I get to appear on the Jon Stewart show or Oprah?  Noooooooo!  Did I get to have my book put on the book rack at Mohegan Sun Casino in Connecticut?  Um…well….yes…but no one’s buying it because I didn’t put any aliens from Roswell in it.


Ms. Jacobsen claims in her book that Joseph Stalin was behind this ruse. Apparently Joe, (Stalin’s shortened first name as he was called by his closest friends) decided that we, as gullible Americans, as we were back then because there was no Fox news to enlighten all of us, would believe that aliens landed in Roswell and that it would cause a great panic. Perhaps inciting us all to run to the nearest cliff and jump off like a bunch of lemmings in a state of panic.

Actually some of us did during the 1938 radio broadcast of the H.G. Wells radio program, “War Of The Worlds” produced by Orson Welles, no relation to H.G. because his name is spelled Wells while Orson’s is spelled Welles.  Just a bit of useless information I thought I’d pass on to you.

Anyhow, Jacobsen writes that the “so-called” bodies the government found at the alien spacecraft site were actually “alien-like children” who were, “grotesquely deformed” and had, “unusually large heads and abnormally shaped oversized eyes”…..kinda like miniature Newt Gingrich’s……my thoughts anyhow.

There’s no way to prove any of this due to the fact that documents surrounding the Roswell incident are still classified as well as any information regarding Area 51.  Other areas, such as 52, 53, 54, 55 and 60 I think are open to the public.

Regardless of the facts, or non facts, her book has made the pages of the New York Times, and Yahoo searches have skyrocketed 3,000 percent for her “Area 51” book.  I might add that she is regarded as a respected journalist.  Unlike myself, who is regarded as a completely unknown journalist and blogger.  My paperboy still doesn’t know my first name.

But, like all other mysteries that remain unsolved, with the exception of whether Arnold fathered an illegitimate child or not, this one will never be resolved. But….it does sell books.

That said, you would think a book about Nazi’s, Adolf Hitler, Eva Braun, The CIA, a mysterious chamber and a tuxedo cat would also sell. I’m of course talking about my own book here folks.

I think I screwed up by including the cat in my book.  Had I done my research and linked my cat to Dr. Seuss’ “Cat In The Hat” and tied him into subversive activity connected to various alien sightings in New Mexico at the time the spacecraft crashed in Roswell with all of the occupants of the spacecraft resembling Garfield I could have turned the plot into a conspiracy that connects Garfield to those events and perhaps been able to solve the mystery of Roswell myself. But nooooooooo!

I’ve decided to call my publisher and ask if I can submit some revisions to my book.

For instance, Sylvester, my cat will now be the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler himself, transformed as the result of Josef Mengele’s experiments to allow Hitler to escape in a spacecraft and crash-land in Roswell.  Over the years, Sylvester populates the earth with his offspring, which are innocent looking tuxedo cats with moustaches, until there are enough tuxedo cats to overtake the world. The rise of the “Fourth Meoweich”  Seig Meow!!

Hey, it’s worth a shot…..what the hell have I got to lose.  I’m already a loser with my current book as it is.  (sigh)

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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1 Response to Author Claims Roswell Aliens Were Russians

  1. J Roycroft says:

    I am in the process of writing my first book. Are you happy with your publisher? Just wondering if I should sign the contract with them or not. It’s the same one you used.

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