Robert Fitzpatrick, (60) a resident of Staten Island, New York has spent over $140,000 taking out ads on bus kiosks and subway cars to warn everyone that on May 21st, 2011 the world will come to an end. This of course contradicts the Mayan theory that the world will come to an end on December 21st, 2012.
Now I’m totally confused. I don’t know who to believe. If it’s Fitzpatrick, and he’s right, that means I only have less than a week to get my affairs in order. If the Mayans are right, I can relax for another year and continue to cut the lawn, take the garbage out and scoop cat poop. Otherwise, the hell with it. Why waste valuable time.
And why is it the world never is predicted to come to an end on a weekday when we’re all at work. No, it’s always on the weekend when you have plans.
Fitzpatrick has taken out these ads with the wording, “”The Greatest Ever,” which, if the world does not end on the 21st, as he predicts, he could use to honor Mohammad Ali. Hey, why let some good PR go to waste. My motto anyhow. The other saying he has on his signs say, “Judgement Day, May 21st.” Boy is gonna look stupid if we’re still around on the 22nd.
Now he also pinpoints the exact time that, according to him, a “giant earthquake will render the earth uninhabitable,” and is set to take place at 6pm. I’m assuming, because he’s from Staten Island, New York, that this is Daylight Savings Time. Which kinda leaves the other time zones in the ol lurch.
It would be much easier if every time zone were the same time. I mean, if it’s 6pm here on the East coast, why the hell can’t it be 6pm on the West coast? It would make things a lot easier as far as I’m concerned. Might even be a cure for jet lag.
Ya see, all this is so confusing. Who do you put your trust in? Some 60 year old guy from Staten Island or a bunch of loin cloth wearing Mayans who’ve been extinct for eons and nobody knows where the hell they went….so it’s not like you can look them up and ask them anything.
Fitzpatrick has also written a book, which he self published entitled, “The Doomsday Code.” Unlike area and zip codes, I would assume that his book deals with unravelling the code as to when the earth will be destroyed. I contacted the U.S. Postal Service zip code people as well as the telephone company area code department and neither have any knowledge of hidden codes that might give us a hint as to when to expect a giant earthquake or an infestation of man-eating locusts.
They might be sworn to secrecy however. Just a hint….if you don’t get mail delivery on the 21st or none of your telephone area codes are working then the SOB’s lied to me.
I, for one, am not going to panic. I’m taking it one step at a time. As should all of you. But, just in case Fitzpatrick is right, you might wanna hold off paying some bills or wasting money on stuff like groceries and gasoline. Spend all of your cash on fun stuff before the 21st. Might as well enjoy life while ya can. What the hell, if life is going to be over at 6pm next Saturday, go for it. Spend, spend, spend….have the time of your life.
And, if by chance, the world does not come to an end next Saturday, and you’re stuck with all those debts and bill collectors are calling you, blame it on that freakin’ nutcase over in Staten Island.
It’s a lame excuse, but you all know how gullible those bill collectors are.
“Yes, is this Mr. Misfit?”
“This is the Bloodsucker Collection Agency. I’m calling because you’re overdue on your last credit card payment which is due immediately, along with your next payment on the 21st.”
“Hmmm….my next payment is due on the 21st…..can ya extend that payment to the 22nd?”
I’m playing the odds here folks……jussssst in case.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV