Schwartz & Maria Split…It’s Catchy…Leonardo and Bar Split Too.

Arnold Schwarzenegger...Um...WAIT...I think I have the wrong picture....I think it's the one under this one.

I'll Be Baaaaack.

B-B-B-B-Bar Refaeli…..OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!

See what pollen does. It not only affects the birds and the bees but humans as well.  Start sniffing that stuff and crazy things happen.  Like breakups of celebrities. I’m tellin’ ya someone has to do some serious research as to the effects pollen has on human beings.

I could be on to something here folks.  What other explanation can there be for the 25 year marriage breakup of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver. You just don’t call it all off after 25 long years because you don’t get along or don’t agree with one another. Usually rather than splitting up, one spouse murders the other first.  It’s a lot quicker and more understandable.

“Your honor, I just couldn’t take it anymore. 25 freakin’ years of tellin’ him to put the damn toilet seat down and his excuse was always, “I’ll be back.”

“Understandable Maria, was there anything else that led you to murder him?”

“Yeah….he gave up his Governator job because he wants to go back to acting. He’s freakin’ sixty-four years old for cripes sakes. Do you actually think he’s gonna chase bad guys around without stopping to inhale oxygen from a tank? Look at him….just look at him…..flabaroo all over the place. Geez!!”

So Arnold is gonna go back to acting. Perhaps he could link up with Clint Eastwood, (81) Robert Redford, (75) Larry King, (77) and Andy Griffith, (85) in an action adventure more called, “The Waaaaaaaay Over The Hill Gang.”  Action plot for the movie could be apprehending Medicare and Medicaid cheats.  Lots of wheelchair and walker scene chases.

Then there’s the other split in the news. Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli. I’ve heard of Leonardo but haven’t got a clue as to what Bar’s fame is. Think I must be outta the loop on that one.  (checking)

OMG!!! OMG!!!  She’s a s-s-s-s-super model…..(photo)  OMG!!  OMG!!!  Leonardo!  What the hell is wrong with you?  Are you freakin’ nuts?  Leonardo….Leonardo…don’t do it….don’t do it! You’re not really that much of a catch and she’s (pant) super hot!  Leonardo….are ya listening?

I don’t think he’s listening.  Too much pollen. It’s too late.

See….there’s more to the ol “birds and the bees” scenario than we imagined. It’s the damn pollen factor. Why else would Arnold and Maria split and Leonardo and Bar go their separate ways.  It’s the damn pollen.

I’m urging anyone who’s been married for a long time to start wearing those face masks whenever you go outside.  Otherwise, it may be splitsville for you as well.  At least until we can get a handle on this.  Hopefully before anymore couples split from inhaling pollen.

Achoo!…..Achoo!  Oops….maybe too late for me. I’m doomed.

The rest of you…run….save yourselves…..burn the flowers….don’t inhale… know what happens when you inhale…..NARC’s knock on your door and divorce looms.  Quick run!

(Update)  I had to comment on the network brainiacs who, with all of their infinite wisdom, decided to pick Ashton Kutcher (33) to replace Charlie Sheen (46) on the TV show “Two and A Half Idiots.” WTF!!  Sheen’s comments: “”I think, (Ashton) is a real sweetheart, but the show will tank because young, hip, social-media friendly Ashton won’t appeal to the shows demographic.’  Demographic,, meaning the audience….for you demographic knowledge lacking people.

I tend to agree.  I can’t see Kutcher pulling of the sarcasm that Sheen was great for, nor the snide looks. It would be like replacing the “Road Runner” and substituting a turtle. “Uh…..What’s Up Doc?”

Cancellation odds….100%……..gotta call my bookie.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom (achoo!) RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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