See what happens when you have crappy phone service and no Internet connections. Next thing ya know a bunch of commando guys are dropping into your living room and you wind up missing the outcome of “Dancing With Al Quadia.” Screws your entire night up….not to mention the fact that you wind up dead.
Yep….crappy phone service. That’s what caused the demise of Osama Bin Laden. Had he opted for some of the better telephone plans available, he might have been able to finish watching his TV program and find out which terrorist made it to the finals.
I think it might have gone something like this. Osama picks up the phone and on the other end is one of his closest friends, and terrorists, Sheika Abu Ahmed….Abu for short.
“Hey Bin ol buddy…it’s Abu….how ya doin?”
“Hey Abu, not bad. I was just getting ready to sit back and watch “Dancing With Al Quaida” ……….what’s up?”
“Ah, not much Bin…….I’ve been kinda lying low. The economy really sucks and bomb prices have skyrocketed. Ya just can’t get as many bombs as you used to ya know. It’s a freakin’ shame I tell ya. And with the price of a good pair of shoes these days, ya just can’t get anyone to stick a bomb in their shoes….it’s a damn crime.”
“Yeah, tell me about it Abu. I have the same problem over here. Being in seclusion, as I am, it’s somewhat difficult replenishing my underwear without arousing suspicion, so I have to really stretch a pair for a week or two. I’ve got all kinds of underwear bombers willing to volunteer for the cause, but, I’m not willing to give up a good pair of Fruit of the Looms.”
“I hear ya ol buddy. Fortunately I don’t have to worry. I get a clean pair every single day.”
“EVERY DAY…..Abu, where the hell are you?”
“I’m in Kuwait…..hey the weather is beautiful here….you should come.”
“KUWAIT!!! Cripes sake Abu….KUWAIT!!! Those people are friends with the infidel Americans……they’ll trace your call to me…I’ll be screwed!!!”
“Bin….Bin….relax, I’m talkin’ to you on a Smartphone.”
“SMARTPHONE!!! ABU!!! Smartphones are made in the U.S. you idiot!!!
“Oops….sorry Bin….but it was such a deal…..hey….you got static on your end?”
“STATIC!!! Damn it Abu…..that’s not static you stupid #%$#!!$! son of camel….it’s helicopters…..they traced your freakin’ call!”
“Oops…..sorry Bin…..um…..see ya….gotta go……my saved minutes are up”…….(click)
Yep…..bad phone service did in Osama Bin Laden. Had he spent a few bucks on some up to date security debugging devices and actually had his home connected to the Internet, his ol pal Abu could have simply sent him messages on Facebook or Twitter using an alias like Ralph or something and no one would have been the wiser.
Now where’s Osama…..at the bottom of the freakin’ ocean………where’s there’s no phone service or Internet…….
and no “Dancing With Al Quadia.”
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV