*And I’m not one of them.
I used to think I had a lot of influence, but, apparently not enough to make it to Time Magazines 100 most influential people list. Damn it!
Ya know, I’ve tried to do my best to influence people over the past year but I still didn’t make the cut. I don’t get it. What the hell does it take to get on that damn list?
Michelle Bachmann made it. Got a nice write-up by Rush Limbaugh. DUH! Now we all know Michelle is not the brightest crayon in the box. But, neither am I. So why the hell didn’t I make it on that list? I’ve been as stupid as she’s been at times. Yep, I once thought that Johnny Cash was a pay toilet and that Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company. Yet I still didn’t make it.
Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook was on the list. Ok, so he came up with the idea of Facebook. I get it already. But I’ve had a few ideas too. Unfortunately, when I first thought of a social networking site, I had other body parts in mind, other than “face” as in Facebook. Dropped the ball on that one.
Julian Assange of Wikileaks fame is also honored in Time. The guy leaks classified documents and he’s influential! I leak stuff all of the time. People tell me stuff and I blab it all over the place. Do ya see me getting honored. NO! What the hell’s with all this leaking anyhow? Get some freakin’ depends for Gawd’s sake.
Vice President Joe Biden obviously has a great deal of influence, so I can see where he’d be on that list. He’s got so much influence that it’s almost over whelming. Enough so that he has to doze off every now and then just to recharge his influential brain cells. It’s not easy being influential ya know. I tend to doze off at various times from being over influential too. The problem is that I know I can be influential, but there’s no one around, except my other half, to actually influence, and, for the most part, she ignores me. Which I guess influences me to doze off like Joe.
Congressman Paul Ryan made the list for his bold idea on how to conserve public spending. Hey, I’m conserving public spending. Why didn’t I make the list? I have a freakin’ plan too, Mr. Ryan and Time Magazine. It’s bold and creative. It’s called DEATH! If we can squeeze every single dollar out of the middle class to pay for all of the government’s programs, and, junket trips, they’ll eventually all die off and the rest of us will be filthy rich. Simple logic don’t ya think. Um, WAIT! I think I might be one of those that’ll be dying off. Rats!
Rock star, (I guess) Justin Bieber is in Time as well. What the hell…is he 9 or 10. Maybe older. And HE made the list. Geez…..! What the hell does HE influence except a bunch of screaming girls. Give me a bunch of $100 dollar bills and I’ll scatter them in a Wal-Mart aisle and then you’ll see how I too can attract a bunch of screaming girls….or senior women. Depends on which Wal-Mart ya go to.
And of course the queen of TV Oprah Winfrey is on the list. I can understand that too. And the Koch brothers, who also influence a lot of people because they have a lot of money, and we all know money buys influence, unlike in my case, where I have no money, so I can’t even influence my mail carrier to put the damn flap up on my mailbox when it rains.
Maybe that’s the key to it all. Money. If I had money I then could influence people by using my own influence to influence them and in turn influence many more people, who, might themselves be influential in influencing other people to look at me and perhaps think I was influential enough to include me in Time Magazines list of the most influential people.
Problem is, I don’t have enough influence to convince anyone to give me any money so that I can become influential.
Looks like I’ll never make in on Time’s list.
Actually I did. I was on their list to renew my subscription before it runs out.
See….I do have some influence. I think.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV