I just can’t believe the amount of really stupid people there are in government. It’s like, the flood gates have opened up on stupidity and anyone holding a political office jumped in for a swim.
Take for instance the big flap over President Obama’s birth certificate. Six hundred gazillion times it’s been proven that yes, he WAS indeed born, and, Hawaii has made his birth records public. Does this satisfy Donald Trump or the rest of the birthers. NO! Now they all want to look at his school records. Ok, I get it….it’s good for publicity and for keeping your name in the headlines.
But. Back in Arizona, where they wanted to pass a bill requiring anyone who wants to run for president to produce a birth certificate, and, at the same time, prove that they were circumcised, loonies rule the roost.
State Representative Carl Seel is the one who, after consulting with “The Donald,” (President of Loonies Anonymous) decided to include the circumcision clause into that legislation. Late Wednesday, after Obama’s long version birth certificate was released, ol Donald took credit for pressuring authorities into finally making it public. Says, it may boost his presidential ambitions. Now if he can only get the government to admit there are UFO’s and reveal who was actually on the Grassy Knoll. He just might stand a chance then.
My question is, exactly how do you enforce that?
“Um, excuse me, is this the office I file papers at so that I can be on the ballot in Arizona to run for President?”
“Yes sir, do you have your birth certificate with you?”
“Yep, right here, sez I was born in the Yew Nited States of America.”
“Fine, now are you circumcised or uncircumcised?”
“Um….do I have to prove it to you, or do I need some sort of paperwork?”
“No sir, you have to physically drop your pants, proceed to that desk over there, where Ms. Ferkenstoker will hold your penis, dab it onto the ink pad, then onto the official campaign form, and certify that you are indeed circumcised. Not to worry, Ms. Ferkenstoker has had a hand in these things before, so you’re in good hands……as in Allstate…heh heh….small joke there.”
“Is that it?”
“Yes sir….and by the way, there are wipes for you to rub yourself off with after you’ve been penisprinted. Just don’t take too much time doing that because it might arouse suspicion with the state Pervert Squad in the next room. We don’t want any of those guys to become aroused if they happen to even suspect that you may become aroused..”
“Is there anything else I should be concerned about?”
“Oh, yes…..just be sure to pull your pants up quickly after being Penisprinted. The NARC’s in the other room have a drug sniffing dog who absolutely loves hot dogs and, due to an unfortunate incident last week during a Penisprinting, lunged at a candidate. You get the picture.”
I’m not quite sure how female candidates would be handled in this instance. Perhaps boob printed just to make sure they’re females. Can’t put anything past those geniuses in Arizona.
So, it is with great pleasure I present this honorable award, “The Flying Fickle Finger Feather Award,” to none other than Arizona State Representative Carl Seel.
Now, Mr. Seel, would you please mind bending over, drop your pants, so that everyone can have proof positive that you are beyond a doubt, and without question, a freakin’ a**hole.
Hope everyone showers daily in Arizona, or at least have that office stocked up to the max with room deodorizers.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV