Stop The World….!!!!! It’s Royal Wedding Time.

Queen Elizabeth is now friends with, MisfitWisdom, B. Obama, K. Middleton, and several thousand commoners. (cartoon-dave grunlund)

Yes folks, the entire world will come to a screeching halt next Friday when England’s Prince William marries ordinary type person Kate Middleton which will be, as usual, full of pomp and circumstance……whatever “pomp and circumstance” is.

Hold on….. Checking.  Hmmmm.  Ok, “pomp” for those of you pomp ignorant people is, “a magnificent or stately display,” and “circumstance” (not to be confused with circumcision) is “a factor connected with an act, event or condition either as an accessory or as a determining element.” Which actually could mean circumcision as well, but, I don’t think they circumcise anyone during a royal wedding… least as far as I know. I could be mistaken.

Ok, so all of this pomp and circumwhatever stuff will be sending the media into a wild frenzy next week. Of course, most of us, with any type of normal brain, will be asleep while this event takes place due to the difference in time. It will be somewhere around 4am in the morning here in the U.S.

Yeah, like I’m gonna be up at 4am to watch a freakin’ wedding. Hey, if ya want me to watch ANYTHING you better come up with a better time arrangement than 4am in the morning.  What the hell is with all these different time zones anyhow? Why can’t the entire world just be on one time?  THAT’s the damn problem with wars and stuff.  You go and start a war at 3 or 4 in the morning in some other country when it’s actually twelve noon here, you’re gonna piss someone off who’s trying to get some sleep.  Geez….no wonder all those terrorists are on a rampage…..they’re not gettin’ any sleep.

Oh…sorry, I got off on a tangent there.  Back to the bigggggg wedding.

According to “Shine” from Yahoo, Kate will have some adjustments to make once she attains royalty status.  For one, she will no longer be able to collect $200 when she passes “go” when playing Monopoly because the Royal Family is not allowed to play the game because, “it gets too vicious.”

Are these people very bored or what?

Kate’s new name, or title, will be, “Her Royal Highness the Princess William of Wales.”  Kinda puts a damper on having a simple monogram stitched onto your sweater.

Then there’s the scrutiny she will be under once she’s royalty.  This poses somewhat of a problem should Kate have to use any type of public restroom considering the paparazzi  will be attempting to observe her every move….or, in that case….movement.

Kate of course will not have to work, which may be somewhat of a relief for her considering she never worked anyhow, and spurned work whenever possible, according the Shine article. This of course gives hope to any unemployed women who may have aspirations of marrying into the Royal Family as well.  Snooki Polizzi are ya listening?

Finally, one of the hardest things Kate will have to adjust to is eating.  In Britain, if you’re sitting at the dinner table with the Queen and she stops eating, you have to stop as well.  I’m not sure if this means that if you have your mouth full of food you then have to stop chewing, or if it means that if you started to stuff a crumpet into your mouth you have to immediately stop midstream if the Queen stops eating. Kinda complicated.

This may account for the frumpy appearance of the Queen who may be in the habit of wolfing down her food at a fast pace, while others at the Royal dinner table eat slower. Sorry……..snooze…..ya lose.

So, all in all it will be quite an adjustment for Kate Middleton from commoner to royalty. I can actually sympathize with her.

While in the Army back in the 60’s and flying home from Germany, our plane landed in Scotland for refueling.  We were allowed to leave the plane for a short break at which time I needed to use the restroom.  Much to my surprise, each square of bathroom tissue was embossed with the Royal seal. I personally felt an immediate attachment to the Royal family.

A kinda hand to butt attachment.

That’s the one and only time I’ve ever felt close to Royalty. I was flushed. As will be Kate, the first time she uses the Royal commode.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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