IT’S THE MISFITWISDOM REPORE’ FROM COMEDY CENTRAL….WITH YOUR HOST……MISFIT!!
Thank you, thank you…..you’re all just too wonderful……
Tonight on the Misfit Repore’…………..
Does Donald Trump Suck On Lemons……..if he doesn’t, then his lips are deformed…..
“Catherine Zeta Jones Discloses That She Suffers From Bipolar Disease…….should she refrain from visiting the North and South poles……?”
Fox News Calls Glen Beck Up On The Rug…….is this just another “beck and call?”
“Was President Obama really ever born….if not……why do we need his birth certificate?”
All this and more on the Misfit Repore’
Officials at the United States Postal Service are somewhat embarrassed after it was disclosed that the picture of Statue of Liberty stamp that has the face of Miss Liberty on it was actually taken from another Statue of Liberty in Las Vegas where immigrants first came to the United States, then went to a casino and gambled. Unlike the other Statue of Liberty in New York where immigrants first came to the United States and went shopping in the jewelry district, or the other Statue of Liberty in Orlando, Florida where immigrants first came to the United States and visited Disneyworld.
Until this matter is resolved as to which Statue of Liberty they should use on their new postage stamp, a photo of a statue at Plymouth Rock depicting Pilgrims landing at the factory where Plymouths were first manufactured in Detroit will be used. Officials from the state of Massachusetts who claim that Plymouth Rock is located in their state are obviously mistaken as there were no automobiles manufactured in Plymouth at the time the Pilgrims actually arrived according to the postal service, who are never mistaken.
Another incident of napping air controllers has led officials at the Federal Aviation Administration to take drastic measures after an air traffic controller was caught napping in Miami. The drastic measure taken was to change the controllers schedules, which in the past have conflicted with napping times of controllers. From now on, all planes will have to circle airports during napping times or land at airports in other cities where napping times of controllers do not conflict with airline landings.
Actor Nicholas Cage was arrested by New Orleans police and charged with disturbing the peach, domestic abuse of a battery, and public drunkenness while domestically abusing a battery and disturbing a peach at the same time, which is a crime in New Orleans. He was detained and then released on $11,000 bond pending his court date for the public drunkenness charge. Getting the public drunk in New Orleans is prohibited as it leads to more peaches and batteries being assaulted. Assaulting peaches does not make the fuzz happy in New Orleans.
The late author Ayn Rand, (no relation to Rand Paul) and the movie adaptation of “Atlas Shrugged” is causing a lot of controversy. The movie’s main theme is future America where great minds are punished and industry is over taxed. Obviously a fantasy, as we all know industry in not overtaxed….can anyone say, “Bank of America,” and of course great minds are not punished. I know, I know, you’re all thinking about those great minds that HAVE been punished like Glenn Beck, Charlie Sheen, Don Imus and Pepe Le Pew.
Oh, sorry, for those of you who missed the Pepe Le Pew comment, at which time he was quoted as saying that, “all skunks stink,” thereby alienating the entire cartoon population. This was taken totally out of context by the mainstream media. Le Pew actually meant to say that only wildlife skunks stink while cartoon character skunks are quite refined, have happy home lives, shower daily and use deodorants.
Time now for my nightly guest on the Misfit Repore’. Lets have a big hand for author Richard Vittorioso from Connecticut who has written a new mystery fiction novel titled, “The Covert Chamber.”
“Thank you for having me on your show Misfit.”
“You’re entirely welcome Richard. Now, about your new book, I find it extremely puzzling considering you have characters from Nazi Germany living in the United States under assumed names, such as the main character, “Richard Warwick.”
“No, no, that’s not right Misfit. Richard Warwick was never a Nazi and doesn’t have an assumed name.”
“So you’re saying that you made all of this up?” There are no Nazi’s in your book?”
“No, well, um…yeah I did make all of this up but….”
“Well then if you made all of this up how can we believe anything that you wrote in your book?”
“Um, well it’s a work of fiction so you really don’t have to make anything believable when you write a work of fiction and…..”
“So you’re admitting that you lied in this book and that there are no Nazi’s in the story and your character Richard Warwick isn’t a Nazi, never was, and perhaps never really even existed!”
“Well, no, he wasn’t a Nazi, but other characters from actual historic events that took place during World War II are real and……….”
“So you’re saying you made up World War II and that it actually didn’t happen!”
“No, No, No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that there are real life historic events that take place in the book involving Nazi’s that intertwine with characters that are fictional and………
“Fictional…..so everything, including the cat, um, what’s his name, Slvio or……”
“Sylvester…that’s the cat’s name….but he’s actually my own cat and his real name is Spencer and…..”
“Ok, whatever, so you lied about the cats real name and now you expect anyone who buys your book to believe that you’re telling the truth about everything that you wrote in your novel?”
“Well, um…er……let me explain further….”
“Sorry, that’s all of the time we have on the Misfit Repore’ tonight. Our guest, author Richard Vittorioso’s new book, The Covert Chamber,” which is full of lies and distortions, is available now at your favorite on-line book store.
From New York….this is the “MisfitWisdom Repore” saying goodnight.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV