Once in a great while I tend to get fired up over local politics. I usually don’t do much about it other than walk around the house grumbling about what a bunch of freakin’ idiots run the town that I live in. The other day I made an exception. I actually attended, with my other half in tow, a real live honest to goodness town meeting.
The only reason I decided to go was that it involved a multi gazillion dollar development project planned for an area just one half mile from my home which has been vacant for quite some time. It’s a prime piece of real estate, at least for the mice, rats, and other various rodents currently residing there. Kinda like the motherlode of rodentdum.
So the question posed at this town meeting was a bit complicated. Well, not for the majority of the crowd or the politicians, but at least for me. Why? Because I’m politically stupid. I can be snookered very easily by “gobbledygook speak.” My definition of “legal talk” as most brainy politicians tend to speak to ordinary slugs like myself.
Kinda like, “Proposition 8, section 49, of the town’s proposal to place on the agenda, section 3 and statue 49 which states that this piece of land shall or shall not be ferskinstied along with the cost of frammising bids from various concerns which states that if such bids received in due process by such bidders shall be considered rather than flockinstorking other potential bidders thereby prohibiting the town from accepting other bids thereby restricting the town from snoorkelfleecing such bidders, may cause the town to lose the opportunity to thereby broaden the spectrum of the prisim of opportunity to entertain such proposals and potentially alienate such prospective bidders from submitting their bids on such property due to the favoritism which might me implied by such bidders in their final evaluation of the choice of only allowing one potential bidder to zinkerferndorf the process.”
To most politicians that is simple language, which, as well all know, originates from birth, because most, if not all politicians are actually created and not born in the normal way that the rest of us are. They are created in Frankenpoliticstein laboratories located somewhere in the dark recesses of town and city halls.
So when you attend one of these town meetings, you tend to feel like a complete idiot when the agenda is presented along with that explanation.
So, did that stop me from standing up and making a complete idiot of myself by asking a question, which I thought was very simple, and it was, but got an answer from one of the committee members, whilst smirking at me for being such an idiot to ask a such question? The answer is no. I proudly took the microphone and attained idiot status. My other half slithered down in her seat hiding her face.
So I basically said, in ordinary slug language, “So what happens if we accept this bidders proposal and let him have 120 days to prove himself worthy of developing this property?”
Seemed like a logical and simple question to me…..and I only got this one chance to make an idiot out of myself. I personally think if you’re going to make an idiot out of yourself you should have more than once chance, just to solidify that classification in everyone’s mind. Takes the pressure off of you the next time you want to get up and speak and they tell you to sit the F**K down.
I didn’t like the answer I received because once again parts of it were filled with “gobbledygook” and political speakisms. I think I might have been the only one who didn’t quite understand the answer because I was the only one with a blank look on my face while the other 200 plus residents applauded the answer. Which is why I do not go to town meetings. Just therapy sessions, because everyone there is nuts and I can definitely understand them.
So, I have no freakin’ idea what the hell is going on. Not that I had any damn idea before I attended that meeting either. But I did learn one very important lesson.
If you’re ever in a conversation with a politician at a town meeting, or anywhere for that matter, do not attempt to ask for any explanations of what the hell is going on. Just listen, wait till the meeting ends, go home and forget about it, and then the following morning read about it in your local paper printed in normal language even a third grader could understand.
Like today’s headline in my local paper:
“RESIDENTS OVERWHELMINGLY DEFEAT LAND DEAL, ONLY ONE IDIOT OBJECTS.”
See….I got my 15 minutes of fame…..kinda.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV