In case you happened to miss the “Blondie and Dagwood” comic strip in yesterday’s paper, I’ve reproduced it for you in today’s MW blog. (thanks to Dean Young and John Marshall)
Now I’m the first to admit that I do not exactly have the most exciting life on the face of the planet. My daily routine consists of waking up early, muttering to myself, “Oh God…another damn day,” gulping down a few cups of coffee while reading the morning paper, scooping the freakin’ cat box while two cats wait with their legs crossed, (my favorite chore after eating breakfast) and then writing this blog for the following day.
It’s all downhill after that. Until, that is, I set myself down in front of the tube to enjoy an evening of my favorite TV programs. Which is becoming increasingly more difficult with the amount of mindless commercials that advertisers manage to fit into an hour’s worth of programming.
I’ve figured it all out. A one hour show, say like CSI New York or The Mentalist, are actually 40 minutes of storyline and 20 minutes of commercials, not counting the self promotion spots for the local affiliates. I used to just vege out during the commercials or go to the bathroom, make coffee, or, most recently, tap away on my laptop until the commercials are over. But, it’s screwing up my brain because I’m multi-tasking with part of my brain doing one thing while the other is half listening to the TV waiting for the show to come back on.
For instance. I could have sworn that there was an advertisement for “reptile dysfunction.” That made me immediately pay attention to the ad because I never knew reptiles had any sort of dysfunctions. As it turns out, reptiles do not suffer from any dysfunctions, as far as I can tell, because the ad was for “erectile dysfunction.” Which, again, I do not think reptiles suffer from. I could be mistaken however.
So you see, it’s hard to actually completely tune yourself out when the commercials are on as hard as one may attempt to do so. Yes, there are some cute commercials, like the M&M spots, the ad for flatulence with the line, “you have a call on-line toot.” Capital One’s ads with the vikings are ok as are the Aflac duck ones. And of course, for us perverts, the always entertaining better than the show you’re watching Victoria’s Secret commercials. (pant)
My point here is that the one and ONLY reason there is television and television programs are COMMERCIALS! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Yes….the almighty commercial dollar which is why television exists at all. If a TV show doesn’t draw in viewers, the sponsors lose big buckaroos, hence, cancellation. Hence, we are all left hanging in the ol lurch if it was a series that had a continuing story line, like the dearly departed TV series, “Life” and “Without A Trace.”
(Footnote:) Glenn Beck has suffered the fate of “LOTS”….(lack of television sponsors) No great loss as far as I’m concerned, but a devastating blow to Fox viewers with the announcement that his show is being cancelled. Ah feel your pain. Actually I don’t. Sorry.
So what’s the solution to all these freakin’ mind warping every ten minute break commercial interruptions? Besides taking an Uzi and blowing your damn head off.
Simple. Record, record, record, record…..or as George W. Bush would say….recordification. Record EVERYTHING!!!
Then you can simply bypass those damn commercials and enjoy all of your favorite shows in peace.
The down side….you’ll be by passing those M&M, Aflac, and Capital One spots…………….
The upside……you’ll have the Victoria’s Secret commercials on your VCR or DVD’s to playback in verrrrrry slow motion using your zoom in option.
See Dagwood……there is a solution.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV