OMG!!! Congress wants to shut down the federal government. What to do? What to do?
It seems almost a possibility that the brains in Congress might actually shut down the government. No one in congress can seem to agree on how to avoid this. While at the same time, if the government indeed does shut down, both sides of the political aisle will blame the other.
So like, if the government shuts down, how much money will we, as taxpayers actually save? I mean, we won’t have to pay the doorkeepers that open the doors for congressmen because, being very wealthy and powerful, most of them have forgotten how to actually open a door. So we save a few bucks there.
I’m assuming congressmen also have a congressional cafeteria. So if that’s shut down we save all that money on food and cafeteria staff. Um, but on the other hand, that might make congressmen go to fast food or expensive restaurants in Washington. Which, of course, we as taxpayers will have to foot the bill for.
There should be a clause in congressmen’s expense accounts that states that if the government shuts down, they can only eat at fast food places or carry a brown bag lunch to work with them. But, then again, I guess we’re stuck again paying for the cold cuts they brown bag. Geez.
Congressional rest room attendants will also be out of work, which means congressmen will have to determine how to use a toilet on their own. OMG! Um, do they actually know how to use a toilet? I’m not sure. They must, with all the crap that comes out of Washington.
Then there’s CSPAN, the government broadcasting outlet. What the hell are they gonna do? Possibly just fix their cameras permanently on non activities in Congress, which is usually what they show anyhow. With all of the empty seats during the government shutdown, those cameras might actually catch a stray bug or termite wandering aimlessly down the aisles looking for morsels. At least that might be more interesting than watch Congress in session.
Congressmen could then actually go home during the shutdown and meet with their constituents, whom , for the most part, they never see, except during election time. I once saw a congressman back in 1972. I had my doubts as to whether they really existed until I saw one.
I personally don’t think shutting down the government is such a bad idea. I mean, why do we actually need anyone in Washington in the first place? No one does anything there anyhow, so what the heck would we be losing? They could all stay home and do their whatever it is they do stuff from their home computers and at the same time join the rest of us on Facebook and Twitter.
AGE: None of your damn business
SEX: Sometimes, but only while congress is in session and there are plenty of young hot female interns roaming around.
INTERESTS: How to make lots of under the table money being a congressman just in case I don’t get reelected.
MUSIC: “I Wish I Were A Rich Man” from “Fiddler On the Roof.”
IDOL: George Washington for his famous quote, “I cannot tell a lie” It speaks for all of us congressmen here in Washington.
HOBBIES: Porno movies, sex, women, sex, taking jets to exotic places, sex, interns, sex, exploring men’s rest rooms, sex, and increasing the deficit……oh yeah, and sex.
See, their just like us, and for the most part, with the exception of sex and porno movies, which most of us don’t get, or can’t afford, they could actually work from home instead of going to Washington.
I say, shut down the damn government, who needs it. There’s enough government right here in each of our towns and cities to take up the slack. Come to think of it, we don’t even need no stinkin’ congressmen.
Think about it folks. No congressmen. No Washington. No expenses to run the government. YES!!! Brilliant!
The only thing I’d miss would be….um…..er……come to think of it there’s nothing I’d miss……..
With the exception of watching John Boehner cry, Michelle Bachman stick her foot in her mouth and CSPAN’s cameras focused on those congressional restrooms. Reality TV.
(UPDATE) CNN reported that if the government shuts down parks, museums and other attractions, with the loss of tourism with that shutdown, it would cause the loss of over $32 million dollars in revenue. My thought, ok, so how much money would we SAVE by not paying those park, museum and other employee salaries. Just a fleeting thought there folks.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV