Ronald McDonald as a child. Now an adult soon to be unemployed.

McDonalds is suffering from a severe case of clownaphobia. Fear of clowns if you’re not quite knowledgeable on various types of phobias.

Ronald McDonald, in case you haven’t noticed, is slowly being phased out in much of the fast food chains advertising.   This is due to the fact that he has been, or the chain has been, or someone has been, most like the ad agency who originally thought of Ronald as a mascot, is pitching fast food to children. Which we all know is a very bad bad thing.

Wonder if they’ll get rid of the playground type areas that so many McDonalds have to amuse the children while the parents eat all of that fast food? Hope not, it’s the only place I can get some exercise after woofing down a Big Mac and fries. I’d do it on a regular basis but those damn kids hog up the entire playground area.  Maybe once Ronald is gone I’ll be able to use it more.

There are actually people who hated Ronald McDonald. People with clownaphobia. Those fast food critics who got the government to ban trans fats. Damn SOBs. And in Finland, where I’m assuming Finnish people are from, they actually beheaded the mascot in effigy. Probably a bunch of damn vegetarians.

(Note: while visiting Finland do not go to any McDonalds)

This all stems, as I said, from McDonalds wanting to promote their menu as being healthy choices. I dunno, Ronald looked kinda healthy to me. Of course I haven’t actually seen him in a while, so maybe he put on a few pounds or something. I actually thought he was a lot thinner than the King at Burger King. Better watch out Kingy, you could be next. Look what happened to Aunt Jemima… in a rest home somewhere in California….I think.

McDonalds of course wants to promote their McCafe’ line of specialty coffee, ($24 billion last year) in order to compete with Starbucks. Perhaps a new mascot would be in order.

Let’s see……..trendy….no red headed dorky guy hanging around……real honest to goodness healthy food, (I Bet) and lots of coffee choices in decorative cups. A mascot….what kind of mascot? Hmmmmm.


Juan Valdez!!!   And of course his donkey.

I can see it now.  It’s brilliant.  Juan Valdez and his donkey strolling through every single McDonalds, (watch out for the donkey crap on the floor) and greeting customers, and perhaps selling a few blankets too, and speaking in that catchy South American accent.

“Buenos tardes….. senors and senoritas, welcome to McDonalds.”

“You and your damn ass get outta my way, I’m starved and need my Big Mac, large fry and a vanilla shake….hey where’s that red-headed guy with the toys?”

Um….maybe not Juan Valdez after all.

Hmmm….trendy, upscale, and healthy.

Someone who would promote the fact that eating healthy prolongs life. Someone who would set a great example of how eating healthy foods is good for you. Someone who would make you feel comfortable, like you’re in your own home. Someone that people are attracted to and envy their lifestyle. Someone who has their own mascot that the food police wouldn’t be able to complain about. Someone that the little kiddies would want to look up to. Hmmmmm…………….

I GOT IT!!!!

Ronald McHefner.  The mascot…a bunny.  Everybody loves Hugh and everybody loves bunnies.

“Hello, McDonalds….listen I’ve got this great idea…….

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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