Anybody Know Where The Key to The White House Is?

President Obama, (can't be absolutely sure) attempting to gain entrance into the (what appears to be) the White House, or some white house, somewhere in the Washington, D.C. area.

You know, those radicals that absolutely hate President Obama are going a bit too far when they lock him out of the White House.

Yep, the Pres returned from his  trip to Latin America, and, like the rest of us, figured he’d mozy on back to the White House, slip into something comfortable and perhaps catch one of his favorite shows on the tube before turning in, only to find the doors locked.


“Hmmmm, now where in the hell did I hide that damn spare key?

I personally hide my own personal house spare key inside of a dead squirrel carcass because no one in their right mind is ever gonna look there. Oops…..just gave it away.  Time to find another road kill. Damn it!

I suppose if you’re the President of the United States you really don’t have to lock all of the White House doors considering the not so Secret Service is just about everywhere and some of them, I assume, stay around to protect, um…..whatever it is they protect when the Presidents outta town.  Maybe they protect one another or something.

It’s just hard to imagine a President getting locked out of the White House.

Hmmmm, are you reporters absolutely sure it was the White House he was locked out of?

(checking photograph)

Yep, it sure looks like the White House.  Although there are a lot of white houses in the Washington, D. C. area.  Maybe he mistook one of those for the actual White House.  Can’t be sure, the photo only shows a door, which looks similar to a White House door, but, could have been doctored up to look like it.

I sense a conspiracy here folks.  You know how a lot of people dislike the President so they could have very well set him up to be embarrassed so that it would make the news and then they could claim that he’s not competent to be President if he can’t even gain entrance to his own home. Yep, a group of Obama haters set him up.  They either snuck out in the middle of the night and changed all of the locks or had a fake White House built and made the President think it was the real one.

I can see the headlines now.

(Steven Colbert) “Obama  Locked Out Of White House. Stays At A Motel 6.”

(Glen Beck) “Michelle Pissed At The Pres., Locks Him Out.”

(Fox News) “Tea Party Bags The Pres., With Secret Lock Change.”

(National Enquirer) “Obama Loses Keys To White House….What’s Next….Keys To Nukes!”

(NPR) “Does Obama’s “Locked Out” Incident Mean An End To The Government’s Open Door Policy For Open Door Negotiations With Other Countries”

(Consumer Reports) “Lock Sales Plummet In The Face Of White House Incident.”

I see the solution to this problem to be very simple.  Issue the President those swipe type cards they use at most hotels. One swipe of the card, shazam!….you’re inside of the White House. Either that, or perhaps combination locks. Or eyeball scan locks that open when you scan your eyeballs. Or fingerprint scans. Actually, any body part might work.  Might be a bit more colorful in some instances, if you get my drift.

Obviously there needs to be a Congressional investigation into this incident, checking every detail, lock, stock and barrel.

My suggestion to the President in the meantime, in order to prevent another embarrassing moment of being locked out of the White House………………..

keep a spare key or two with your original birth certificate, nobody will EVER find it except you.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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2 Responses to Anybody Know Where The Key to The White House Is?

  1. Doc says:

    Actually, it was the liberals at MSNBC/NBC/CNN who had a car waiting nearby hoping that Obama would sleep over their house, so they could later claim on a tiny sign “Obama Slept Here.”

  2. SVG says:

    Obama never sleeps, Doc, always worried about where he misplaced his birth certificate.

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