What The Heck Were They Thinking When They Named These Towns?

Phew.....I'm not going here again....EVER!

It's OK to flip off people in this city.

Can't wait to "get into" this town.

I’ve lived in a lot of towns in my life, some of which I often wondered how they came to be named. But, it was just a fleeting thought until I happened to come across a sign for a lake in Webster, Massachusetts.  You’re not gonna believe this one. Here goes…..Lake “Chargoggaagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg” Honest! I had to drive by it five times before I could read it.  My first thought was, “gesundheit!” Or, “boy am I glad I don’t have to spell that out on my driver’s license.”

But, that said, I began a search of other places (some pictured) that have really strange names.  Yes, I’m well aware of “Intercourse, Pennsylvania,” a very nice place to get into.  But, there’s also another town in Pa. called, “State Lick” and one in North Carolina named, “Big Lick,” and finally in Missouri called, “Licking.” What the hell is going on in those towns anyway? Especially in “Intercourse.”

Now I’m no idiot to think that something must be going on with all that intercourse stuff and licking, but if I were such an idiot, I might consider moving to “Idiotville,” Oregon. Perhaps a breeding ground for our next Presidential candidate.

While were on body parts, you guys might want to explore the possibilities of living in “Assawoman Bay, Maryland.”  Just a thought.

Or perhaps if you think that the competition there might be a bit much, how about moving to “Square Butt, Montana” or “Hooker, Oklahoma.”  That is if you’re a square butt type guy or you don’t mind forking out a few bucks for a hooker.

After you’ve had your fill of all these various type of butt and hooker women you could move on and settle down in “Climax, Georgia.” Or, “Climax” Michigan, Minnesota, or New York.  Waaaaay too much climaxing going on in those states as far as I’m concerned.

Leftover hippies and flower children from the 60’s obviously have all settled in a small town in Illinois called, “Roachtown.”

“Hey man, this is really great stuff…..wanna go raise some hell up there in “Boring, Maryland? They’re really bored up there and we can liven things up.”

I have no idea why anyone would name a town in Kentucky, “Crummies,” unless these people don’t bother to clean up after themselves after eating cookies and stuff. Might be an awful lot of ants in that town too.

Then there’s “Frankenstein, Missouri. The mayor of that town, “Igor,” is a real peghead………sorry.

Back to butts again. Yep….”Butts, Virginia.”  Is it me or are a lot of these townsfolk obsessed with butts?

In conclusion, I personally think the best town name I came across was in Tennessee. It’s called, “Finger.”

You know where this is going don’t ya.

Correct!  It’s ok to flip the bird to anyone screwing around with you if you live in “Finger, Tennessee.”

Unless it’s a Tennessee state trooper….in which case….if you give him the big bird……he may have the tendency to intercourse you.

And it won’t feel good.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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