My Childhood Fantasy Was Jane Russell

Actress Jane Russell died last month at the age of 89.  If you’re old enough to remember Jane, then you’re old enough to remember what the heck she was most famous for.  Yep….boobs.

We’re not talkin’ about ordinary run of the mill boobs, but boobs that stood out. (38D) Out far enough that Howard Hughes designed a seamless brassiere for the uplift effect in the movie “Outlaw” released in 1943.

Of course back in 1943 I was way too young to notice Jane’s boobs, or anything else for that matter.  If I was drooling, it wasn’t due to Jane’s cleavage. That didn’t happen until I became a teenager and saw her in the movie “Underwater” in 1955.

In my autobiography, “I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love and Life Got In The Way” (Amazon books) I wrote about the impression that all male teenagers back then had about boobs.  They were white, soft and very pointy.  We had that image fixated into our tiny immature brains partially due to Jane Russell’s boobs.  And of course every girl in school wore those pointy bras. So what the hell did ya expect us to think. Simple….boobs were pointy.

Most of us had never ever actually observed a set of real life honest to goodness boobs, so we had to just assume that Jane Russell was the poster child, so to speak, of boobdom.  And those lucky guys back then that claimed to have actually been in the presence of an actual boob, or two, because they DO come in pairs, told us idiots that, “yes” they were indeed pointy.

Oh yeah, and that we should be very careful not to get our eyes gouged out should we be lucky enough to encounter a pair.

Now this was all very believable considering the images of Jane Russell that you see here.  I think that’s one of the reasons I always wore sunglasses, and later on in life, glasses.  Eye gouge protection…..jusssssst in case. You can never be too prepared ya know.

Well, I’m sure you all know where this is going.  Yep…..my first ripped off issue of “Playboy” magazine. The encyclopedia of boobs…..at least for us teenagers.

Imagine my disappointment when I opened the pages of the boobdom bible and my image of pointy boobs was dashed.

What the hell was going on?  Where were the pointy boobs?  Was Jane Russell’s boobs all a big scam?  Had we all been duped?  Was this the end of my image of boobs as I had so fondly known them? Were those other guys who told us boobs were pointy lying?

For the most part, the answer to those questions was…..YES.

There weren’t pointy boobs…just pointy bras. Damn you Howard Hughes.  It was all, as it turns out, his idea into making all of us adolescents think boobs were pointy.  He developed that seamless brassiere……Jane Russell, developed nothing but herself, and her cleavage, by bending over constantly in movies wearing Hughes’ bra…..um….well….not his bra, but the one he developed, and from that it all pointed to the pointy boob scam.

I feel sooooo used.

I’ve long since recovered, after long therapy sessions with various women, but, that said, I still owe a great deal to those images of Jane Russell and those pointy bras.

Unlike today, where one can simply go to the Internet and find all the images of boobs one desires, all we had to rely on was “Playboy Magazine.”

There’s no mystery in boobs for a teenager growing up today.

The only mystery for a young teenage boy who wonders what boobs are all about today is……………….

Are they real or are they manufactured.

Thank you Jane……we’ll miss you.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header:chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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1 Response to My Childhood Fantasy Was Jane Russell

  1. Doc says:

    Hats off (only…!) to Jane …”requiescat in pace”

    I’m a leg man (or more precisely, ankle man). She had a great pair of those, too. You went north, and I went south…no wonder you’re such a liberal, and I’m more conservative. Guess we’ll meet somewhere in the middle.

    Doc

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