Cow Fart Cans…For Those Who Miss The Countryside

Boy am I gonna rush out and get me a case of this stuff. I was just saying to my other half yesterday that I wish I could just get a small whiff of a cow fart to remind me of my days back on the farm.

Brings tears to my eyes just thinking of it…….the cow smells that is. Not to mention the smell of chickens**t,  Which by far is the worst smell of all. My theory is that if we had employed the use of chickens**t as a gas during any war, fighting wold be over in a matter of hours.  Hmmmm, maybe that’s what the Israelis used during their 6 day war back in 1967.

German designer Daniela Dorrer, who invented the “cow fart” cans says, “we have to make people who miss the countryside happy, and remind them of home.”

Geez….where the hell did she live?

Most of us, at least myself, think of green grass, the smell of rain hitting a wet pavement, or the aroma of a freshly cut lawn. Daniela on the other hand thinks of cow farts.  My kinda woman.

Now these cow fart cans come packaged in a trendy tin filled with air which has been sucked out of a wooden stable and they’re straw lined and filled with gas-producing cattle.  Um…no….the cattle aren’t in the tin….just the air…..or farts.

The name of the company is, “Countryside Air To Go” and they cater to people who miss the countryside.

“Helga…..sniff….I’m sooooo homesick….I wish I could go back the country.”

“Otto…..no problem dear……don’t be depressed….come here honey.”

(opens cow fart can)

Whoooooosh!!!

“Helga!  OMG!!  My childhood memories are rushing back.  Yes….yes….those fond memories of cow farts.  The sweet smell of manure.  Throwing cow flaps out in the field.  I can see it all now!”

So touching….don’t ya think.

Directions on the tin are easy to understand if you buy one.  It says, “simply put your nose to the tin, and peel back the lid for the authentic smell of the country.”

(caution for tobacco chewers…..do NOT get the tins mixed up)

Daniela says that sales are so great that she’s planning to introduce some new fragrances such as horse, straw, pig and manure.  Oh joy.

You notice that she does not indicate that she will introduce any tin with the chickens**t fragrance.  Much too strong for the average German and may conjure up too many traumatic chickens**t memories.

Critics of cows, and there are many due to the role they feel cows play in global warming, will most likely be up in arms about this new product.  They have always claimed that cows farting and burping is one of the major reasons Al Gore jumped on the global warming bandwagon.  I personally think this is “udderly” ridiculous.

If that’s the case, what about humans farting and burping. Ya don’t see Al Gore or any other critic complaining about that do ya? Um…..maybe they have and I just missed it.

The name of the company again is, “Countryside Air To Go” and you can go to their website at www.stallduft.de

(I thought “duft” in that address meant poop, but it means smell)

This opens up an array opportunities for anyone wishing to

How about a whiff of some cow farts before dinner dear.

Yep...some of my best farts are right here in these cans.

capitalize on this new German business venture. Perhaps introducing your own “smells in a tin” product.

Hmmmm………

Cant afford to go to the gym.  “Locker Room Sweat Odor Tins”

Impress your friends with.  “My Last Encounter With A Hooker Odor Tin”

Miss your pet.  “The Rin Tin Odor Tin”

I’m on a roll here…….

Longing for money. “The U.S. Mint Money Making Odor Tin” (this one is really a great gift for your local IRS agent or ex-wife getting alimony)

and finally……my favorite…..

“The Sex Odor Tin”………..which would be sold at a discount for any man who’s been married to the same woman over 10 years and isn’t getting any.  Comes with a box of tissue as most men will immediately break out into uncontrollable sobbing remembering those fond days.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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1 Response to Cow Fart Cans…For Those Who Miss The Countryside

  1. Doc says:

    I bought into those “sex odor” tins–several cases, as a matter of fact. They’re 5 minute tins (all I need). Use’m every night, always running out, and I’ve only been married two months! Well worth it, and new wife loves it!

    You forgot a couple of other items mentioned on that website, though, that are always selling out:

    1. The “silent fart” tin (life of the party!!…wanna vacate a room? open up one of these; be careful, though, around smokers, lighters, and matches);

    2. “Sounds of Stepping in S**t” [lengthy CD with various screams and cries of “G**dammit!”; “Sonnavabitch!”; “I just bought these shoes!” (usually coupled with “I just washed this floor!”); and my favorite: “JC! NOTTAGAIN!”]

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