My Friend Robert, aka Mr. Magoo

Photo of Robert (Doc) Magoo and his dog Pixie taken shortly after Pixie did her business in the front yard. Remind me not to shake his hand the next time I see him.

If any of you occasionally read the comments section to my daily blog you have undoubtedly noticed that many of the comments are written by one person who signs his name “Doc.”

Doc, or Robert, which is his real first name, is one of my closest friends.  Only because I don’t have any other friends.  Due to the fact that: 1. I’m not into football. 2. I’m a Boston Red Sox fan in Yankee territory. 3. I don’t venture out very much because my other half keeps one of those ankle monitoring devices on me so that I don’t get into trouble. 4. My enemies outnumber my friends, so I have my hands full fending them off which is why anyone else who could be a friend avoids me.  No one I know wants to be an innocent bystander when someone does a drive by shooting at me.

Actually, I do have a few other friends, but they wish to remain anonymous for obvious reasons.  Namely, the stigma of associating with a Misfit.  I’m sure you’ve all have noticed by now that I do have a weird sense of perception about life in general which borders on the brink of craziness.

But, at least I know I’m crazy….the rest of you still have to wonder.

Anyhow, I consider Doc to be the exception. He knows I’m nuts and usually on a daily basis attempts to clarify some of my rantings on my blog.  Some of which make absolute sense, while others border on the brink of insanity.  Which stems from reading too many of my blogs and various visits to my home.  Which he does on rare occasions only to pig out on the goodies I offer him and the coffee.

Doc is also a frustrated writer…..although he’s never written anything worth reading….as far as I can determine.  With the exception of that one time he sent me a Christmas card, with a written greeting and a lottery ticket enclosed, which I won one dollar on, and he demanded half of my winnings.

But he does have some good qualities. He does a great impression of Mr. Magoo.  Which is actually the only impression he can do. Which may be of some use to him if there’s ever a casting call for a Mr. Magoo impressionist.

He’s also pretty good at helping me with problems when my computer goes kerflunky and I screw it up trying to fix it myself. However, usually after he’s done doing his “bug-de-eliminatior-virus-infecto-debugging” processes, something is always askew days later.  Like e-mails requiring postage, weird messages from web sites like, “Discount Bondage Supplies” and the “Wholesale Sheep Outlet.”

I can live with those little bugs. I just delete them till the next time he visits. Although I did keep the sheep one.

Doc also has a knack for being a day late and a dollar short on some things. He means well, but refuses to update his 2010 calendar and buy a new watch.

For instance.  When my water heater went once, he called a few days later and said, “Ya shoulda called me, I had one.”

Like I knew he had an extra water heater!  Who the hell do you know that keeps an extra water heater just hanging around.

“Yeah, while you’re at it do ya have a spare kitchen sink and a bathtub?”  He probably does……..did I mention he’s also a closet pack rat.

Or….when he disappears off the map occasionally, and I can’t find him, and my computer is a real mess, and I take it to the computer shop, and spend $200 bucks to have it repaired…..Doc usually calls a day later and sez….”hey….why didn’t ya call me.”

All in all however, he is a great guy and a very good friend……..even though we have drastic political views….which I absolutely love due to the fact that it doesn’t take much to get him all fired up.  Have you ever seen a guy trying to espouse his conservative political views while sounding like Mr. Magoo? The funny part is that he almost looks like Mr. Magoo when he’s fired up.

I thought he deserved this blog today considering all of the comments he has posted on my site and also due to the fact that it was a very slow news day with no one else stupid enough to pick on.

Um…oops….sorrry Doc…..I wasn’t implying that you’re stupid, just that none of your conservative friends, except Newt were in today’s news. The lizard wants to run for President. OMG!

So, in conclusion, I’m sure Doc will have much to say in his defense in the comments section, which I urge you to read.  Perhaps you could encourage him to start his own blog site as well.

Lets see…….I have “MisfitWisdom” with “Dilligara” as my motto with a picture of a rats ass………….he could have…um……..

“Conserative Poop” with maybe a picture of a dogs butt with the motto…….

“DILLIGADA”

“Do I look Like I Give A Dog’s Ass”

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to My Friend Robert, aka Mr. Magoo

  1. Pixie says:

    To anyone reading this:

    Dick knew that I had the extra electric water heater, BECAUSE HE HELPED ME DELIVER IT TO MY HOUSE WITH HIS TRUCK! –along with a grand entertainment center, using logs rolling down my sidewalk (memory is the second thing to go, folks…Dick is a good example).

    BTW, Dick, your better half (yes, better) paid me to be your friend. She still owes me the balloon payment on the mortgage on my house.

    As for the computer problems, there’s only so much I can fix with directions like: “P-U-T T-H-E M-O-U-S-E H-E-R-E.” “T-U-R-N O-N T-H-E ‘O-N / O-F-F’ S-W-I-T-C-H.”

    And I do impressions of MANY comedians, voices, etc. (especially Rodney Dangerfield, but definitely NOT Mr. Magoo…besides, I don’t even look like Mr. Magoo, more like Brad Pitt–at least that’s what people tell me).

    By the way, look for my new book to be released shortly: “Sultry, Shady, Short Spanish Sea Stories.” (one page)

    And…..I’ve decided to run for President in 2012. Since I can fix computers, drains, and sundry other things, I figured I could fix the economy and whatever else is currently wrong with this country…it took me four years to fix my plumbing, what’s another four years? I’ll make my announcement on the David Letterman show shortly…that’s why I need the balloon payment, Dick–for my campaign.

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