German Study Says Staring At Boobs Prolongs Life In Men

Remember all of those times that you’ve been called a pervert because you constantly stare at women’s boobs. Men….we’ve been vindicated.

Everybody….break out in the following chorus…..

Hallelujah……..Hallelujah…….Hall….elu….jah!!!!!

I’m not kidding here folks.  This is a real honest to goodness bona-fide reasearch study conducted by German researchers headed by Dr. Karen Weatherby…YES….a woman doctor by God……who is a geaontlogist….whatever that is…….and an author from Frankfurt, Germany.

A “WOMAN” WHO SAYS IT’S HEALTHY FOR MEN TO GAWK AT WOMEN WITH LARGE BOOBS!!!!  A WOMAN SAID THAT!  A RESEARCHER TYPE WOMAN!!!!

YES!!!!!!

Ok,…….I’ve regained my composure…sorry. I’ll try to contain my excitement.

According to Dr. Weatherby (a “woman,” which obviously I have to emphasize) says that men who gawk at women with large breasts is okay and is really a health practice which may prolong the lifespan of a man by six years.

Are ya hearing this all you women out there? It’s okay for men to stare at boobs!!! It prolongs our lives!!!

Unless of course you’re married to a rather large woman who could pound the livin’ daylights outta you if she catches you staring at another woman. Might not be a good idea to mention this study to her.

Dr. Weatherby goes on to say that, “just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30 minute aerobics workout.”

See….all this time when I attempted to make that point to my other half when she insisted I go work out at the track I could have been simply sitting at the mall watching boobs and actually working out, thereby prolonging my life by 5 years.

In the study, which included 200 healthy males, (lucky  SOBs) they were observed to have lower blood pressure, a slower resting pulse rate and lesser episodes of coronary artery disease.

“FREE AT LAST….BY GOD….WE’RE FREE AT LAST…..!”

Oops…..sorry….lost it again…….I’ll try harder to contain myself here.

Furthermore, the doc states that, “gazing at breasts makes men healthy” and “men over 40 should gaze at large breasts on a daily basis for at least 10 minutes.”

OMG!!!  OMG!!! OMG!!!…………I’ve been vindicated.

Those of you men who feel you need a longer workout might wanna extend your gazing to maybe 15 or 20 minutes.

(how the conversation used to go)

“Dear, I’m gonna go to the mall and check out a few stores.”

“Ok dear, have a good time.”

(Now:)

“Dear…..I’m gonna go to the mall, sit on a bench and check out all the large women’s breasts.”

“Ok dear, I’m glad you’re watching out for your health and sticking with your daily aerobics workout,…..have a good time.”

The study will appear in an upcoming edition of the “New England Journal of Medicine,” which I suggest every red-blooded American male over 40 and married get a copy of ASAP.

That way when you’re sitting at the mall ogling those large breasts and some damn woman calls you a pervert, whip out Dr. Weatherby’s article and prove to her that you’re just doing your 30 minute daily aerobics and prolonging your life by 5 years……thanks to her boobs.

If that doesn’t work………fret not…….

Most malls have EMT’s that can tend to your injuries after a woman beats you to a bloody pulp with an umbrella or shopping bag.

FYI: Update: This just in. A London ice cream shop has created a new ice cream called “Baby Ga Ga” which is made entirely out of breast milk, vanilla beans and lemon zest.

Now….before you all jump on my case here, “I” did not make this up, this is a true story, someone sent it to me via my e-mail, and I’m just informing you as a public service. If you are offended by the use of “lemon zest” and “vanilla beans” in ice cream don’t take it out on the messenger.

I prefer jimmies myself.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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4 Responses to German Study Says Staring At Boobs Prolongs Life In Men

  1. Doc says:

    The length of the life span is directly related to the distance to the source subject of the gaze; the size, angle, and exposure of the intended object; visual acumen and optical devices of the observer; frictional attributes of the viewer’s habitat; and finally–the passage of time without problematic interferences.

    Another scientist has been conducting a similar program alongside this German one, but by using binoculars–amazingly with similar results.

  2. Doc says:

    It’s very simple, really …it’s proportional to the inverse condemnation of the significant other, which is at the root of all problems. I could tell you more, but I’m afraid I might go too deep into an analysis or tangent on the circumferences of the intended object, and that object’s vulnerability to exterior elements, with the phenomena that might (and should) result.

    I’d much rather leave it at this very uncomplicated account of the two coincidental studies mentioned above.

  3. Jamesrudy says:

    Ok thanks for the article. happy arpil mob , cheers happy week end too . Cordial regards from Bali, the island of love. Bali promotion center

  4. Halie Deans says:

    “Appreciate you sharing, great weblog article.Truly looking forward to read more. Really Great.”

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