Ok, so every other blogogist in the world has commented on “Two and a Half Men’s” Charlie Sheen. Except Rod Blagojevich, which is kind of unusual considering he has the perfect last name for writing his own blog. Hmmm….Rod Blagojevich’s Blag…..or um….blog. Kinda catchy don’t ya think.
As we all know Charlie Sheen’s show has been dumped for the rest of the season for various reasons, mostly Sheen’s off camera antics, which, so far, have not involved any animals, otherwise the show’s producers would surely cancel the show for good. You know how upset animal rights activists get if they were to see Charlie Sheen out cavorting with any type of animal.
Yeah, I know, don’t call the show’s producers “surely.” Sorry Leslie Neilson but someone would have said it so I decided to say it first.
Charlie has since issued a number of caustic statements with regard to his feelings about the cancellation and the shows creator. Shall we look at a couple of them….or three.
In an open letter to the shows creators he says: “What does this say about Haim Levine (Chuck Lorre)…..(must have a split personality….my insert here) after he tried to use words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 17 shows. I fire back and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and my truth.”
Hmmmm…..once again maggots take a hit. You would think by now maggots would have gained some sort of respectability after helping to solve numerous crimes on those CSI programs. But nooooo.
Sheen goes on…..(no maggots in this next one)
“I wish him, (Lorre) nothing but pain.”
This would imply to me that Sheen is into witchcraft and perhaps is using those tiny hand-made voodoo dolls in which to inflict pain on Mr. Lorre. My thought anyhow.
Sheen goes on again:
“Clearly I have defeated this earthworm.”
Here he goes once again, now defiling earthworms, who we all know contribute to the survival of our fine feathered friends as well as help to cultivate our lawns and gardens. Shame on you Charlie!
Sheen said the show will not survive without him and in a final slam at Lorre, called him a “turd.”
I was personally shocked. Shocked I tell ya….shocked…that Charlie would use the word “turd” to describe Mr. Lorre. Basically because I couldn’t find the word “turd” in my Funk & Wagnells and had to spend time looking it up on the internet. Which is what Mr. Lorre most likely had to do too.
Here’s what I found. At “Dictionary.com” a piece of excrement and or a mean contemptible person. I could have settled for that but I was curious, so I explored further until I found what I was looking for at “www.definations.net which was: “crap, dirt, shite, “s**t” and my favorite, “poop.”
(for those of you who enjoy really good poop humor there were some neat cartoons of poop at that last site…um….look at them before you eat anything)
So, all in all Charlie thinks Lorre is a little maggot, wishes him pain, called him an earthworm, and thinks he’s a turd. And that was in only one interview!
Whaddya think the chances of him getting his job back?
Welllllll….he could always say he meant the word “turd” in a loving way perhaps. And claim that he always feels compassion for earthworms while baiting a hook. Might have a bit of a problem with the maggot thing however.
Personally, I think the shows chances of surviving without Charlie are kinda dim. Who wants to watch “One and a Half Men?” And, Allen’s kid is growing up so fast on the show they might have to simply call it, “Two Men.” Or…..”One Man and an Adolesent.”…….hmmmmmm…….”One Man, An Adolescent, and a Cleaning Lady.” How about, “One Man, A Teenager, and A Mother-In-Law.”
I think I’m on a roll here.
“One Man, A Snarky Teenager and Endless Cleavage.”
Ok…um……how about we just forget renaming the whole show, just go into endless reruns, make a jazillion dollars, and tell Charlie Sheen to go F**K himself.
Which is what the networks, the viewers, and Mr. Lorre should do considering Charlie has now crossed over the line into the Lindsay Lohan Universe.
Beam me up Scotty…………………..
Just watch out for that dog turd next to me before ya beam me up.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV