Tramp Lamps…..Honest!

For those of you who thought I was being perverted....THIS is an actual photograph of a "Booby Bird."

I know what you’re all thinking. Damn perverts. Get your mind out of the gutter right now!!! Think like a normal person would think and then you’d realize that this blog is about real honest to goodness lamps that you can use for light.  What the hell’s wrong with you people anyhow.

On the other hand, me, not being a normal type person, thought like the rest of you slugs did….that these lamps were to be used if you had a tramp over at your place, or, perhaps they were lamps that tramps use when you go to their place.

Hey…..seemed logical to me when I first got this story from another perverted reader.  So don’t just blame me.

As it turns out, “Tramp Lamps” are lamps that are made out of vintage women’s clothing, which, of course, could come from actual tramps, but again, that was my thinking.

Women reading this….you have to think like most guys do when they hear the word “Tramp.”  Women automatically think of a hobo catching trains or “Lady and the Tramp.”  Men, on the other hand, being the depraved sort of animals that we all are, think of hookers.

Seems logical don’t ya think?  Which opens up a new avenue of thought here.  “Hooker Lamps.”  But, I’m not gonna go there. Um…too late, I just did.

Anyhow, “Tramp Lamps” are the idea of Kelly Kerrigan, ( from Nashville, Tennessee who got the idea while working in the painting department of a local shoe company back in 2003 AD.

Local shoe companies have painters?  Beats me.

She began experimenting with lamps and decided that using vintage women’s garments to make lamps just might sell.  So she collected vintage and modern clothing and began making these lamps which have a 6 foot click switch cord and a 25 watt frosted globe bulb and hanger.

Business took off and she sells hundreds of these hooker lam…….sorry….”Tramp Lamps.”

So ya see, as I mentioned in an earlier blog this week about inventions that can make big bucks….here’s yet another idea we all missed out on. “Tramp Lamps.”

You would have thought with all of the news stories about politicians patronizing paid for services hookers that one of us would have thought of that idea.  I mean think about it…..tramps=happiness=a big smile on your face=glow=light=lamps!  How easy was that guys.

We’re just not using our noggins.  Instead of using our other body parts to think about pleasure, we should all think about using our body parts to think about making money. Um….which is what actual hookers do, but that’s not what I mean.

So let’s put our collective minds together and come up with something catchy like those “Tramp Lamps.”


HEY!  How about “Boob Lamps!”   If Kelly can make a fortune with “Tramp Lamps” then why not “Boob Lamps?”  She has a play on words with her product, so, why not capitalize on that same concept.

I mean, “boob” is not necessarily a profane word in the English language. It’s all in how you perceive it.  Like “tramps.”  Boob could be a jerk or even a bird. There is such a bird called a “BoobyBird”  (pictured above) So there!


“Boob Lamps” could not be made from actual boobs for obvious reasons but the concept could be marketable.  Unlike your normal one switch lamp, these lamps would have two separate switches for on and off. Push button types. They would be sold in only one or two colors, beige or light tan perhaps, and instead of hanging them from a hanger, as with “Tramp Lamps,” one could take the cleavage portion of the lamp and drape it over something quite securely.  Maybe some sort of clip device to hold the cleavage part together.

“Boob Lamps” would also have to be rather large to attract the male consumer.  It’s a guy thing.  And, because the lamps would be rather large, they would take a large bulb, two of them, which might not be energy-efficient but that problem could be easily solved.

“Boob Lampshades.”

Yep…..two cup shaped holders to go over the lamp which restricts the amount of light used which could be supported by some underwire device and a clip…..front of back….your choice in various sizes.

Gotta go now. Have to call the U. S. Patent Office and register my idea before someone else comes up with it. I’m no boob ya know.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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2 Responses to Tramp Lamps…..Honest!

  1. Tom says:

    I must apologize to all of the non-perverted readers for this article. Although, I am sure the number is small. It was an innocent email alerting the writer of these cute lamps. I do like the idea of “Boob” lamps. You can expand that a little due to the ever increasing number of women increasing the size of their boobs. They could order boobs in the size that they previously had, to show how much larger they are now. “You can see by the lamp on the wall, how much smaller my boobs were before the operation”. Or in the case of reduction in boobs, hang the previous large ones and they can be compared to the new ones. When you get this project off the ground, I for one, would be happy to help by doing the measuring of the women.

  2. Doc says:

    Are those “booby birds” REAL? Thanks, and thought I was going crazy for a moment (so did my wife)…I think I spotted one the other night on my street corner…could-a sworn they were “real”…and I’m not one to drink, either. I wonder if they fly south for the winter–I haven’t seen them lately.

    I mean, I’ve heard of “bum drums” (drums that don’t work); and “wander lust” (people who LOVE to travel in circles, especially away from home); “floozie jacuzzies” (street-based public toilets); and the ever-popular, “Streetwalker shoes”…

    but “tramp lamps?” Can you “undress” them to fit the decor in separate rooms? (heh,heh)

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