Why Didn’t I Think Of These $$$$$ Inventions?

Where to use all those leftover Pet Rocks. (funz.com)

Probably because I was way to busy goofing off and the rest of the time being a slug.  THAT’s why I didn’t think of these money-making inventions.  And some of them are so stupid, even a stupid person like me could have thought them up.

Like those “Post-It-Notes that you can stick anywhere. Geez….I could have come up with this idea years ago, in school, when I was tacking those “kick me” signs on the back of all the other kids.

The “Crazy Straw”. Yep, that silly straw that bends so you don’t get it shoved up your nose when you go to take a sip of soda or some other drink.  You would have thought I would have thought of this after the number of times I tried to take a huge gulp of something only to have it go up my nose, snork it out immediately and fart at the same time. Very embarrassing.

Those elastic wrist bands shaped like animals that kids like to wear. I could have thought of that one too after spending time in a hospital. They always tack that ID sticky paper type bracelet on you in case you get lost, mugged, or you’re a guy and they wheel you into the operating room thinking your pregnant, see the bracelet, realize you’re a guy, and, so as not to make the day a complete loss, give you a vasectomy.

The “Pet Rock.”  Now this I know I could have invented and made a gazillion dollars. $15 million to be exact.  Which is what the guy who came up with that idea made. All those freakin’ rocks I collected as a kid and had no idea what to do with them. Damn! Had I thought about why I collected rocks in the first place, (nobody would play with me) I would have thought about marketing the “Pet Rock” idea.

The “Antenna Ball.”  You know…. those things you stick on the antenna of your car so that you can locate your car after shopping.  You just looked for that red ball and “presto” you found your car.  This worked well until everyone started using them, people got into the wrong car, SWAT teams were called out to apprehend suspected car thieves, which obviously were motorists in the wrong cars, which in turn, pissed off those SWAT guys.  I guess that’s why they stopped making that stupid antenna ball. My guess.

Finally, the “Slinky” toy. EVERYONE….and I mean everyone had to have one of those.  It resembled a giant spring when closed, and when you set it off from the top of the stairs it slinked its way down each step like a snake.  I actually did think of a Slinky toy but it involved a woman, a black negligee, some Ben & Jerrys chocolate ice cream, and several containers of Cool Whip.

I was too busy testing it out to ever get around to marketing the idea.


Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: Chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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