My my how the time flys. It was just exactly one year ago that I sat down in front of this computer and said to myself. “Why the hell am I sitting down in front of this computer?”
My first reason was due to the fact that if I simply sat around the house, my other half would eventually find a gazillion things for me to do, all of which involved getting dirty, pulling out work room tools, toiling in the yard, or conducting an experiment by attaching a leash onto one of our cats to see if you can actually take a cat out on a leash for a walk.
Women absolutely hate to see a man sitting around doing nothing. So, obviously I had to come up with a plan to avoid her devious plans for my daily activity. My brilliant plan………write a damn blog. HAH!! It worked.
Now I spend at least two to three hours a day writing and reach over 100 people per day in countries all over the world with the exception of one small remote island in the Pacific that does not have electricity. This is also the place that AT&T directs my calls to when I have a complaint and accounts for the time I spend “on hold” with the phone to my ear.
During the past year I have had a number of different headers, (the “DILLIGARA” pic above) is a header. For those of you who have no damn idea what the hell a header is and thought it was taking a dive off of a ten story building, now you know. I’m completely satisfied with the present header as it totally reflects my attitude towards life in general, politicians, celebrities, stupid people and if my other half asks me to fix something.
I’ve covered many subjects, from political to really weird people, items making the news, and condoms. Um, I did do a story on a condom factory in Thailand but scrapped it because the only photos I could find of the factory only showed them testing condoms but had no photographs of anyone actually testing them during an actual condom test drive.
Hey, when they test cars in automobile crash tests don’t they smash them into a wall or something? If they’re going to test condoms in Thailand I damn well better see some proof conclusive that they work by seeing an actual demonstration.
“Okey dokey Drang Phong, smile for the scientists and give it your best shot, and remember…..thrust…..thrust…….!”
Of course during the past year my favorite foil was Sarah Palin. You just can’t write a blog without at some point commenting on Sarah. The material is just too mind boggling. In my various searches on the Internet for photos of Sarah to use on this blog I came across some extremely racy photos of her which I’m sure were photoshopped, and, which obviously I could not use, at least here, but made copies for myself…um….just for those lonely moments. Boy does she have a great set of……neverrrrr mind.
I receive absolutely no compensation, nil, nada, for writing this daily blog other than that free header from my friend Chick at “Chickart” and only because I had to provide the actual rat in the “rats ass” photo in the header.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a rat to pose like that?
I do of course hawk my two books, one of which is my autobiography, which no one bought, except my ex wives, and they’re suing me, and the other one, “The Covert Chamber” which is a mystery. The mystery is why I wrote the damn thing in the first place considering the publisher lists it at $29.95, so you know I’m not going to make a freakin’ buck off of that one.
However, if ya buy it, I’ll personally autograph it by driving to your house. Providing you live within a 5 mile radius of my house. Otherwise forget it.
I’ve received many comments in the “comments” section of my blog, which makes sense if you’re going to make a comment and so far, have received no hate mail……..just a horse’s head I found in my bed one morning signed by some guy named Guido after I did a blog on the Mafia.
WordPress, which hosts this blog, has been really great. They’ve never put restrictions on my commentary which I think is due to the fact that they don’t read it, and could give a rats ass what the hell I write. I think it’s because they limit my exposure to a two block area from my house.
Actually they sent me my yearly update stats on daily hits and I got a “WOW” from them. Which I think stands for, “Wimp Out Writer.”
My goal in the next year is to eventually keep breathing. Besides that, to push my readers to vote for this blog at “bloggerschoiceawards.com” so that I can possibly win the best humor blog award. I don’t think there’s any prize involved if ya win, you know, like a statue made out of tin showing a blogger sitting in front of a computer. Cheap SOB’s. But I could be mistaken. In any event, go and vote several million times and in return, if you screw up and appear in the news, I’ll cut you some slack and be gentle with you…….maybe.
In conclusion, and only because I’m getting close to a thousand words in this blog, (I’m only allotted 700 to 800 words per day ( according to people who don’t write blogs, or anything for that matter) but cringe at my blatant abuse of exceeding my word quota, so I must conclude this daily post.
So, thanks to all of you, hang in there with me, pass this blog link on to your friends, and enemies, check out my two books, offer suggestions, (most of which I ignore anyhow because “DILLIGARA,”) and pray that you do not make news headlines for stupidity or for being a politician.
Tomorrow begins another full year of the MisfitWisdom blog, (oops word count is approaching 1,000) and one can only hope that out there, somewhere, a stupid person or event will emerge so that I can faithfully continue my…………
ZAP! (WordPress moderator)……..word count exceeded.
UPDATE: With regard to my blog on Enfield, Connecticut’s ban on the Michael Moore film “Sicko”…..I originally reported that the entire town council voted not let the public have access to the movie. Thanks to Joe Saxton, who informed me that one town council member did not agree with the rest of those bozos and one member was out sick, I’m adding this update. However, due to my negative feelings about Enfield’s stupid town council, (two exceptions) I’m going to request that my book publisher not send my latest book to that library. Only because I use the word “Nazi” in the book and Enfield might ban it. I never visit Enfield anyhow.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV