Hugh Hefner Announces Engagement

"Hef Honey....are you playing pocket pool again?"

84!  No, that’s not a remembrance of the year 1984 boys and girls, it’s how old Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner is. 80 freakin’ 4.  So what does a waaay over the damn hill senior citizen like Hef do with all of that idle retired time on his hands…?

Why get engaged to a 24-year-old hot babe.  WHAT ELSE!

Seems like the normal everyday thing most of us would do when we get to be 84. Either that or chase some nurse around in a rest home.

Ah yes….life at the Hefner home after they’re married.

“Crystal dear.”

“Yes Hef honeeeee.”

“Could you kindly pour me a stiff drink of Jim Beam laced with just a swish of Viagra around the rim……um…..make it a double swish around the rim sweetie.”

“Ooooooooooo Hef……what do you have in mind you wrinkled old sexy devil?”

“Heh heh…..come on over here and pull my bathrobe string and I’ll show ya.”

“Ooooh, you naughty naughty boy.”

(pulls bathrobe string)

“OMG Heffy honeeee, it’s not quite hefty enough yet…here, have a few swigs of your heated Jim Beam, that should do it.”

(slurp…..slurp…..glug…..slurp and one hour later)

“Heffy honeeeee, is that a set of Playboy Bunny ears under your bathrobe or is the Jim Beam Viagra cocktail working?”

“Heh heh…..that’s no ear pokin’ up. NOW come on over here sugar and pull my bathrobe string….but be verrrrry careful….I’m feelin’ kinda frisky.”

“Okay you dressed in hot silk devil, but first put away your AARP crossword puzzle.”


“Now lets clear the sofa of all of this stuff.  Here, hold this bag while I put away your depends, Viagra bottle, oxygen tank, cane, denture holder, hearing aid battery charger, Gas-Ex pills, last will and testament forms, and….um…..maybe I’d better just leave those forms handy…..jusssst in case honeee.”

“You’re a livin’ doll Crystal…….okay, now kinda just ease me over to the pillow and lay me down on my back facing up ward in the same direction ol Woodster is pointing.”

“Ohhhhhh, you naughty naughty boy…tee hee…..that extra Viagra laced drink sure has it pointing too.  Hold on for one second babeeeee while I slip out of my Playboy laced thong and bra.”

“Okay……Heffy….I’m ready……………..




“Oh damn it, there goes another wasted bottle of Jim Beam. Oh well…….as long as you’re standing at attention Woodster…….salute to you and cheers.”

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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