I look at it this way. If The Doors lead singer Jim Morrison can get a pardon years after he died, then I sure as hell should get the same kind of pardon for past offenses while I was in high school. While I’m still alive!
Ya see, back then if you screwed up by being the class clown, nine out of ten times you were sent to detention.
For those of you who never had the opportunity to go to detention, it was BORING.
You sat in a room with all of the other class clowns and stared at the ceiling, the clock, tapped your foot, and occasionally glared at the vice principal who made sure you sat there and did your penance. Usually for about an hour. Which, to me, seemed like four hours.
Now I base my conclusion that I deserve a pardon due to the number of times I got caught passing notes to my pals during class and to some cute chick waaaay in the front of the class, (cute chicks were usually smart so they sat up front) and by the time my note got from waaaaay in the back of the room, (class clowns always sat in the back to they wouldn’t be noticed or get called upon) to the cute chick, the teacher usually intercepted my note, and the sentence of detention was bestowed upon me.
Now, let’s fast forward to 2010. Some fifty detention years later. If I were in class would I once again get caught passing a note to that cute chick. NO!
Why you ask?
Ok….Einstein….because now all kids, including class clowns have freakin’ phones that they can text each other on without having to pass a stinkin’ note from waaaaay in back of the room. It ain’t fair I tell ya!
I want my damn pardon for all those late afternoons in detention. Wasted time I could have been out and free roaming the streets. Or playing horsie. Um, sorry, if ya wanna know what playing “horsie” is you have to buy my book. No freebies here.
All those afternoons in detention also cost me points when it came to scoring with that cute chick too. I deserve a pardon just for missing out on that!
Those of you, perhaps some of whom may have served time in detention with me years ago, and are now parents, might want to sit down with your teenagers and tell them the horror of it all….detention! Tell them how it affected your love life, the embarrassment of getting caught passing a, “Hey Sandra, I really think your cute” note and then having to read it in front of the class as they all snickered at what a fool you were. I think Sandra laughed too…………ratfink.
I spent considerable time on my Facebook search option but all of the teachers that sent me to detention are either in protective custody or dead. I think that assistant principal that used to stand watch over us in detention is also dead because there’s a school named after him and usually they don’t name a school after you unless you’re dead. Probably keeled over sitting at a desk doing detention duties.
So those of you kids reading this blog, just think of how easy it is for you to send notes back and forth during class without getting caught and having to spend hours in detention. It ain’t fair!!!!
I want my damn pardon. And I want it NOW!!!
Um….if per chance there’s a girl named Sandra out there who used to sit in the first row in Ms. Beasley’s history class and you remember the short little big nosed kid that could make funny sounds with his armpit….that was ME! Give me a call sweetie and I might forget the pardon plea.
Cripes…..she’s probably dead too.
Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV