My Weird Christmas Music Collection

John Denver & The Muppets. The only reason I bought this is because I had a huge crush on Miss Piggy. I'm probally the only person on the face of the earth that has a nude centerfold of her. ........oops.

The Salsoul Orchestra Christmas Jollies LP. See that white fluffy bottom thingy the girl is wearing. In the original LP cover it wasn’t there and her butt was displayed. Politically correct Christmas Grinches made the record company cover it up…..damn it.
The Motown Xmas album with the Temptations, Diana Ross & The Supremes, Stevie Wonder and Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
Another classic LP “The Beach Boys Christmas Album” soon to be rerelased as “The Beach BOY Christmas album cause there’s only one Beach Boy left that’s still touring in concert.
A classic Rock & Roll Xmas album with The Crystals, The Ronettes, Darlene Love and the ever popular Bob B Soxx and the Blue Jeans
Spike Jones….my all time favorite LP with traditional lovely Christmas music

Hey, I never said I was normal.

Phil Spector's Chritmas album. Unfortunately this year he's celebrating Christmas in jail. Should have worn the Santa outfit as a disguise Phil.

I dug out my Christmas music collection this morning because my other half says it was time to get into the festive mood of the holiday season.

I of course, in true MifitWisdom fashion said, “Bah Humbug.”

Not that I don’t like Christmas mind you, it’s just that it’s so over commercialized.  Geez, the season began way before Thanksgiving even came around. Think I even spotted a naked turkey in the freezer compartment at Wal-Mart wearing a Santa Claus suit with a sprig of holly in its beak.

Anyhow, reluctantly I trudged down to the basement and picked out some of my favorite Christmas albums from Christmases past. Some of which are pictured above.

Now you can obviously tell by my selections that those albums are old and on vinyl, kinda like me, except I’m real and not vinyl. I think.

As you can see my taste in music is kinda weird.  But I’m really sick of Jingle Bells and if I so much as hear the Twelve Days Of Christmas I’m gonna barf.  Unless they make a movie and I finally get to see what those maids a milking are actually doing, and to what.

And who the heck give those kinds of gifts anyhow…..obviously some perverted nut who really hates you. I mean, what the heck is anyone gonna do with twelve swans a swimming not to mention a partridge in a damn pear tree in your living room pooping all over your rug.  Come on now!

Tell me there’s one thing on that list you really would like to have and I’ll send you the name of a really good psychiatrist.

Ok, back to the music thing. As it turned out she wouldn’t let me play any of those LPs, opting to dig out her CD collection of Christmas songs by Johnny Cash, Amy Grant, Leann Rimes, Elvis and…………WAIT A MINUTE!!!!   ELVIS!!!

“Ain’t he like dead?”

“Yes.” she replied. “But at least he’s not weird.”

“OH YEAH!!   As far as I’m concerned anyone who constantly ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches most of the time for breakfast, dinner and supper IS WEIRD!”

“Dear, didn’t you just have one for supper last night?”

“Um, yeah….but……um…….”

Needless to say I lost the argument and carted my LPs back downstairs while munching on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Thank you….thank you very much ma’am.

Damn you Elvis.

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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3 Responses to My Weird Christmas Music Collection

  1. Tom says:

    How about Grandma got run over by a reindeer, on the Oink label? And how about the Bob Rivers collection of the greatest Christmas music?

  2. Bob says:

    Dear Santa,
    For Christmas, I would really like to see 8 geese layin. Could you arrange that for me?? Thanka, thankaveraMUCH!

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