Who Still Sends Picture Christmas Cards?

(sniff) I'm overwhelmed by the touching Christmas cleavage in this seasonal Kardashian family card. Hmmm...why isn't anyone smiling? Oh yeah.....no touching those Christmas cleavages until Christmas morning.

Not me…for one.

I kind look at it this way boys and girls.  If you know me, have seen me now and then, and we’ve been friends or acquaintances for years, why in the hell do ya need to get a Christmas card from me with my picture on it?

Like, “Oh Joy, look honeeee, it’s a Christmas card from our garbage man with his lovely wife Thelma, their eight kids and the family dog pictured in their front yard with Christmas lights and all.”

“Yeah, neat card dear. But what’s that thing rummaging through their garbage cans over in the left hand corner of the photo.”

“Hmmmm, looks like a raccoon dressed up in a cute little Santa outfit doesn’t it.”

“I think you’re right Thelma. Gotta hand it to ol Festus when it comes to sending a really great family portrait Christmas card.  One thing though, they’ve got a nativity scene just over there to the right of his garbage truck and I don’t seem to recall any shepherds or women back then having cleavage.”

“Oh dear, don’t be such a prude….these are modern times and the Festus family is just trying to be a bit modern by keeping up with the Kardashians.”

“HEY!!! Wait a second here!  Is that Hugh Hefner in that bright red bathrobe and the Santa hat posing as one of the three wise men?”

“Why, I think your right dear.  And look, there’s Senator Scott Brown wearing a speedo and Newt Gingrich with a cape and crown….and they’re all on camels…..how unique.”

“But I thought the were all supposed to be wise men bringing gifts?”

“Honey, look closely….see…..the two senators are carrying “earmark” bills so that the nativity scene can be upgraded next year with a $1,000,000 stimulus package for renovations and ol Hef will chip in for the entertainment for visitors.”

“WOW!   Festus really outdid himself this year. Why didn’t we think of doing something like that?”

“Because we’re just your average middle class citizens sweetie, just trying to make ends meet, and we don’t own a garbage collecting business, that’s why.”

“Ya mean there’s money in garbage, and that’s how Festus the garbage man is able to put up such a big Christmas display and have all those celebrities in it?”

“That’s right dear…..there’s money in garbage……tons and tons of money to be made in garbage…..and that’s the main reason, even though garbage smells, that people run for Congress……there’s soooooooooo much of it there. Does that clear things up for you now snookums?”

“Yes sweetie, thanks for enlightening me.”

“Good…………. Merry Christmas Bill.”

“Merry Christmas to you too Hillary.”

Copyrigtht 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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