North Korea Needs A Facebook Page

Lets see, what to wear to the big parade today, khaki, khaki, or khaki.

Ever since I was a child, many, many, many eons ago, North Korea has been in the news for one reason or another.  Mostly because they resemble the school yard bully who’s alway trying to beat up on someone.

So once again, here they are trying to start some sort of provocation by shelling their neighbor, South Korea. It just goes on and on. 

Now South Korea really doesn’t hate North Korea, after all, they’re really all brothers and sisters. But North Korea actually hates South Korea.  At least the Koreans that run the country.  If the big, or in North Korea’s case, if the short stocky North Korean head honcho, Kim Jong-il says that all South Koreans are bad, including the rest of the world, except China, then the average North Korean is gonna believe that.

It’s kinda like your spouse telling you that the neighbors next door are a bunch of low-class slugs so don’t even bother to be friends with them. You don’t know that for a fact, because you’ve never met your neighbors, but, if your other half says they’re slugs, who you gonna believe?

So I’ve given this much thought. How exactly can we get North Korea to be our friends and stop all of this bullying stuff?

Simple.  Invite all of them North Koreans to join us on Facebook.  How easy is that!

Think about it.

Pong Yhum Chou posts a picture of himself polishing the nose cone of a nuke on a launch pad.

One of us could post on his Facebook page….something like…

“Hey Chou….great pic….like that semi automatic weapon you’re carrying….nuke is lookin’ really good….keep up the good work.”

Or Xxing Phou Zong post on his Facebook Page: “Yesterday three hundred thousand of us marched in the square in honor of the chairman, our great and honorable leader.  If you look closely you can see me. 522nd row, 200th in from the left and smiling.”

And someone could respond.

“Great pic Zong.  Who’s the cute babe marching next to you with the bazooka?”

See….a little interest in what these people are doing might bring about some dialogue and eventually they might see us all as not really bad people.

Eventually, as they begin to loosen up a bit we can ask them to join us on “Farmville” or post more of their pictures like the times they’re marching in the square, and more of them marching in the square and of course the ever popular photographs of all of them marching in the square.

Oh yeah…..and pictures of the tanks and weapons parading in the square too.

Is there any other place in North Korea besides the square?

I’m not sure exactly what they call that square either. Just like I’m not sure who the president is. It’s kinda complicated. The president is actually Kim II-Sung, but, he is deceased, has been for quite some time, and has been designated as the eternal president, even though he’s DEAD.  (Thank God we don’t have that kinda deal here)

Anyhow, the president now, if you kinda overlook the fact that the real president is DEAD… Kim Jong-il. You’ve obviously seen him waving from that balcony overlooking the square, waving, smiling and wearing the same outfit day in and day out. This guy has no class when it comes to picking out wardrobes for special occasions… watching people march in the square. Or maybe, that IS his only wardrobe.

Now, if he had a Facebook page, we could all clue him in on what to wear on those special occasions.  Mix it up a bit there Jongy.  Flannel shirt, a pair of Levi’s, hell….maybe even sport a baseball cap now and then….geez….no one says you have to wear a team logo on it.  Scrap that bright red star thingy and make a few bucks with some corporate logo. Might get ya a few extra bucks to buy another missle or somethin’.

So, in conclusion folks, we all need to do our part to ease tensions over there in North Korea. Right now, today, this minute…….well…um…AFTER you finish reading my blog. Invite ol Kim Jong what’s his name to become your friend on Facebook.

That’s my simple solution to the North Korean problem. All those people over there just need to loosen up a bit. Get em all on Facebook, Twitter, and Sodahead and supply them all with a bunch of iPods, computers, GPS systems…. and shazam!……peace.

Um, wait a minute. On second thought, those things might not be such a good idea after all.

You know how edgy those North Koreans are.  Give em a computer, it crashes, and before ya know it….World War Three.  Give em a GPS system, and where the hell can they go…..except to the square to watch a parade.

Might be better just to give all of them their own Facebook page.

“Hi, my name is Kim Jung-il and I just launched a missile today on Farmville. Have a nice day.”  : )

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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