Holy Crap! A New Toilet Paper Invention!

I'm just wiped away by this new product innovation from Kimberly-Clark

Here’s the poop.

Kimberly-Clark, manufacturers of “Scott” bathroom tissue has made an earth shattering announcement.

NO more cardboard cylinder thingys in the center of a toilet paper roll. OMG!!!!

They have decided to eliminate that center cardboard tissue holder because it will reduce the number of cardboard thingys that have to be thrown out each time you change a roll.  OMG!!

The new product will be called, “Scott Naturals Tube Free.” It will be in an experimental stage on the East coast in Wal-Mart and Sams Club stores. I think on their shelves and not necessarily in their restrooms….although I could be mistaken.

Kimberly-Clark somehow calculated that 160 million pounds of trash generated from these cardboard thingys would stretch from the moon and back from all the people who throw these thingys away. Thus creating a navigation problem for the space shuttle if they were actually stretched from the earth to the moon. 

I’m assuming Kimberly-Clark did not actually line these things up from the earth to the moon in order to prove their point.  I could be wrong however considering we have no idea exactly what the space shuttle carries nor do we know if Kimberly Clark has an in with the folks at NASA. Then again, I don’t even know if the astronauts use toilet tissue on the space shuttle. I think, and again I could be wrong, they um…er….poop in their pants….or……space suits.  Which could be another interesting blog subject, but….I’m not gonna go there.

This new product change will obviously have a dramatic change in our lifestyles. Not only will we not have to worry about that last piece of toilet tissue sticking to the glue on that cardboard thingy, but it’s one less piece of trash to throw out in our bathroom wastebasket.

I for one will miss that thingy however.  I kinda looked forward to taking it and aiming for the wastebasket just to see if I could make the shot. Kinda passed time while I was just sitting there doing nothing.  It also came in handy if you wanted to use it as a megaphone holding your mouth up to the end and yelling out.  Nice echo effect too.

Of course the main advantage, as Kimberly-Clark stated, saving the environment from more trash and being able to use that one last piece of tissue without glue on it stuck to the cardboard thingy.

Thereby eliminating the possibility of walking out of the bathroom with that one last piece of tissue stuck to your butt.

Although I will miss that one last piece sticking to your butt.

You know how it is….you run into an old friend in the store, want to write their phone number down, and can’t find anything to write on.

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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