Do Politicians Scare The Hell Out Of You More Than Freddie Kruger?

"Before you pull that voting lever....remember....heh heh....I know where you live."

I used to have nightmares watching Friday 13th movies and those Chain Saw Massacre flicks late at night out on my enclosed patio with the lights dimmed until I came to the realization that they were only movies. Still kept my door locked however.

I still get a bit squeamish watching CSI programs where they show the doc performing an autopsy on a body and he reaches in and yanks out a heart or liver or something really disgusting.

Then I just tell myself that those images are just fake body parts…….I think…….and fake bodies made of rubber and latex and those parts are really ground up hamburg or chicken pieces.  They are hamburg and chicken parts aren’t they?

Anyhow, I tend to brush those images aside now, except for the barfing scenes, which gross me out even though I know they’re  fake and most of the time consist of pea soup or oatmeal.  They are pea soup and oatmeal aren’t they?

But more than those CSI scenes and the barfing fits, it’s the constant barrage of political advertising that scares the hell out of me the most. I mean, it started out kind of innocent enough with all of the various candidates claiming this and that, and of course harping on the one issue they think will get all of us to vote for them……. JOBS!

Like that’s gonna convince me. How the hell do ya create a job anyhow?  Create a monster in a lab like Dr. Frankenstein maybe….but you just can’t create a job.  If that were the case, then why aren’t those in power now creating jobs? 

Hmmmm…….maybe they just don’t have a laboratory to create jobs like Dr. Frankenstein.  I mean, he did have at least one employee….Igor.

But now that it’s a mere week till election time, the ads are getting more and more scarier.  It’s a genuine horror show. No one’s concentrating on the issues.  Instead, they’re all digging up dirt on one another and it’s like watching a horror themed soap opera or a Freddy Kruger political ad.

Soon to be on your local TV set:

          “FREDDIE KRUGER RUNS FOR CONGRESS”

AD:  “Hi, I’m Freddie Kruger. You might remember me from the various times I’ve hacked and mutilated several hundred innocent campers to death using my knives, axes, spears, claws and ugly looks. That was when I was really pissed off and needed to vent.

Nowadays I’m on a series of really good medications and have calmed down somewhat.  Enough so that I’m turning over a new leaf, or lung.  No more hacking and chopping and spewing guts all over the place.  At least not in the movies.

I’m running for congress because I see an opportunity to hack chop and spew guts all over the place like all the rest of those candidates do.  Hey, if it works for them…it can work for me too.

My campaign promise to all of you is that I will work to create jobs, mainly in the funeral industry, as well as jobs for cemetery caretakers, backhoe operators, cosmeticians, casket manufacturers, and of course the knife and axe industry.  Jobs, jobs, jobs.

My opponent, the recently deceased Harry Fernstork…….

Oh wait a second……..

My aides tell me that Mr. Fernstork is not yet deceased.

Scuse me for a moment.

Hack…hack….chop…chop…whack….slice…….disimbowel…..

Ok, my opponent, the late Harry Fernstork, shortly before his untimely demise, agreed, without any coercion what so ever from any member of my staff, agreed to free up his voter base so that they may vote for me.

In conclusion, if elected, I can assure you that any legislation I introduce WILL pass with no objections.  I swear this on my chainsaw, which you may notice is in the shape of a bible.  A bit stained, I might add, but none the less a bible.”

See….that wouldn’t scare me as much as the actual candidates running for office.   Why?  Because I already know Freddy Kruger’s a horror story.

So who do ya think I’d vote for?

The guy I know is a horror trip….or the ones I have to worry about because I don’t know.

Got ya thinkin’ don’t I.

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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