The Solution To: “Not Tonight Dear, I Have A Headache”

"Hello Dear..zzep....I'm ready...buzzvlp......whenever you are....zvppsz!"

Men… out and sing praises to the high heavens……the ol “not tonight dear, I have a headache” line will soon be ancient history and women will no longer be able to use that excuse anymore.

Not only that, my testosterone filled friends, women might actually become obsolete. 

I know this is very hard to imagine, but it’s true.  No more being called a “pig” because you’re horny.  No more, “geez Ralph, you just got it six months ago you damn pervert.”  And no more making promises to fix the bathroom sink that you’ve been putting off doing so that you can score in the bedroom.

Not only that, but you unmarried guys might be able to save a few bucks every weekend night by not going to that singles bar, ogling the babes and using your best line while spending all your hard-earned cash on drinks to loosen them up, and then, go home empty handed….or in that case……un-emptied. (ya have to think about that one)

Here’s the salvation for all of us males. Hallelujah!!!!

Because drugmakers have been unable to find an effective treatment for low sexual desire in women, computer programmers, (bless their little micro chip hearts) are making up the difference.

The answer they have come up with is, “robotics.”  And we’re not talking about the old days when you had to send away for one of those giant inflatable female dolls with the big stems, blow it up, and then…well…um….you know.

Nope, we’re talking about an actual female robot that can and will satisfy all of your most wild, and of course weird sexual desires, and….and……NEVER have a headache.

I suppose that you’d have to keep the female robot fully charged otherwise if her charge runs low, that could prove to be the equivalent of a woman saying she has a headache. Might wanna invest in some sticky pad memos just to remind you to keep her energized. Just stick them up all over the house.  Be prepared is my motto.

British futurist Ian Pearson, (bless his little high-speed connection) says, “If people can have great sex without someone else present, or with an image of say, Claudia Schiffer, (my image choice, Christina Hendricks) they might not want to develop long-term relationships, or even go to work.”

He goes on to say that sex can be enjoyable in the future by simply downloading a program on your home computer and “shazam” you’re off and running.  Or, if you think about that….just “off.” 

So, what this means in the long run is that women would actually be outdated.  You could virtually have sex with anyone you wanted to have sex with via a robot, or by downloading a program and not having to be in the same room with your partner.   Long distance sex! Or, short distance depending on who you downloaded.

Geez…..could be that hot babe down the street at Home Depot….who knows….the possibilities are endless. Might be able to do your tool shopping at the same time too.  Can’t do that while you’re having real sex.

This may be a few years off, but I’d definitely use this information as a “heads-up” for your spouse or girlfriend should they continue to fall back on the headache excuse.

Remember, the old “Honeymooners” TV program when Ralph Kramden said to Alice, “One of these days Alice, POW!… right to the moon.”

The next time you get the ol “headache” excuse, calmly turn to her and say…… your best Ralph Kramden imitation………….

“One of these days, (insert name) POW!….a robot with big electrodes and a hot processor is gonna take your place.”

Might work…..but if by chance it doesn’t phase her….and you’re still shut off……..just bide your time until robots are perfected by taking things into your own hands…literally.

At least you won’t have to make any promises.

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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