Don’t Ask….Don’t Tell…or just keep your fingers crossed.

"I Canno't Tell A Lie" However....don't ask, and I won't tell.

Here we go again with the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” ruling that’s been going back and forth between the courts and the government with regard to gays in the armed services.

Hey, I personally have no objection to gays serving in the military. My theory is, if you can get killed defending our country what the hell difference does it make if you’re gay.

If you were walking down the street and a mugger jumped out at you with a bigggggg gun and another guy pounced on the mugger thereby saving your ass, would you first ask…

“Oh, excuse me Mr. good Samaritan, before you pounce on that there mugger and save my sorry ass,….are you gay?”

“Why yes….I am.”

“Oh, in that case….just let this mugger here beat the livin’ crap outta me and steal my money.”

Frankly, I think the “Don’t ask, Don’t Tell” policy should be carried even further.

For example.  If you get caught cheating on your spouse and she asks you if you’ve been cheating, you can use it in that instance.

“Marvin, you damn SOB, how dare you bring a tramp into our home and have sex with her right her on the living room sofa……how long has this been going on?”

“Wait  minute dear, didn’t we agree that we’d use the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy when it came to certain situations….and I do believe this is one of those situations.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re absolutely correct in that assumption dear….I totally apologize. I won’t ask and you won’t tell, is that right?”

“Yes sweetheart……but why are you holding that meat cleaver?”

This policy can also be used when being apprehended by the police.

“Ok buster….drop that bag of money and reach for the sky…. did you actually think you could get away in broad daylight robbing a bank?”

“Officer, um….are you asking me if I intended to rob this bank and get away in broad daylight?”

“Yes….that’s what I asked you.”

“Well, according to the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy you really can’t ask me that question and I don’t have to tell you either.”

“Oh yeah, you’re absolutely correct.  So, um……maybe you were just making a withdrawal from this bank and they gave you those bags to help you carry your money and that mask you’re wearing is one of those cosmetic masks to help your skin and the gun you’re carrying is for your own protection in case a bank robber comes into the bank and tries to take your money?”

“Why officer, how perceptive of you to get that all right… you have a nice day.”

“Thanks….you too.”

So see, the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”policy CAN work not only for gays but for the rest of us as well. 

In fact, the next time your wife asks you if she looks fat in a new dress that she bought…….try using that policy.

But…..before you do…….

Make sure your life insurance policy is up to date…..just to be on the safe side.

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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