New Study Says Kids Are Nincompoops

Future Teenagers Talking: "Duh!!" "Huh?" "Um, Duh" "Gerzub Duh?" "Frozntz duh!." "Oh, Frozntz Duh!" "Giznork."

No, the word nincompoop does not mean kids can study the art being a ninja at a dot-com site while taking a poop.

But……I’m sure many of todays kids think that.

It’s been all over the news the past few days that today’s children will be future nincompoops…….dummies…..brain dead individuals unable to function without some sort of technology to help them out.

Some of you older folk may recall having to actually use your brain to figure out a math problem in school.  And,…..if you wanted to send a message to one of your pals, you wrote a note and had it passed along via the classmate network.  And…..if ya got caught….off to detention or a slap with a ruler.

Those of you attending a parochial school really got the ol slap on the hand from Sister Iglesias of Our Lady Of Perpetual Agony Parochial school.  Not to mention the penance later on you had to pay.

Today’s kids have everything at their disposal so that actually using one’s brain is obsolete.

” What is 24 multiplied by 9 Johnny?”

“Hold on Sister Iglesias…I got it….tap, tap, tap, enter…’s 20 Sister!”

“WHAT…..twenty….that’s completely wrong!”

“WAIT……(changing batteries in hand held cell phone/radio/computer/Ipod/text/camera/Internet device)……. it’s 216 Sister.”

“Verrrrry good Johnny….you get an A.”

Which is one of the many reasons why little Johnny and little Mary go to the store, buy some goodies, hand the clerk a $50 dollar bill, (daddy gave it to them for being so smart in school) for a $22 dollar purchase, get $10 back and leave thinking they got the correct change.

Ask any kid you run into anything about history. 

Who was Madonna?

Obviously the pop singer.

What is immaculate conception?

Having sex when you’re dressed up immaculately.

What is Pearl Harbor?

A place where you can dive in crystal clear water and hunt for pearls.

How do you have sex……….

Um…..forget that one…….I think that’s inbred from birth.

And it’s only going to get much worse with all of the new technology coming on the market. The next generation will have no clue as to how to do or think about anything without some sort of hand-held device telling how to do it. Excluding sex that is. 

Um…..maybe not….I had to get that out of a book without any pictures or diagrams.  I kinda think they can get that stuff today with the pictures….in living color….like on porno sites on a computer……..which I of course have never accessed.

(fingers crossed)

Most kids today text message, which is very frightening if you’re driving a car with some kid coming at you while they’re texting someone.  This of course will eventually lead to another problem.


Eventually kids will not be able to actually communicate with one another in person without the use of a phone with which to text.  They will just stare at one another with blank looks on their faces, mouths agape, and no audible sound emanating from their lips.  

Hmmmmmmmmm……that might not be such a bad thing after all.  Silent teenagers.

OMG!  I think I’ve hit on something here.

Silent teenagers!!!   Unable to communicate without texting!  YES! 

The world will become a better and more silent place as we know it.

Only adults will actually be the only ones able to speak. There is a GOD!  Texting is our salvation adults!

QUICK!  Buy stock in texting devices.  Buy as many as you possibly can and pass them out to any teenager you come across. The end of useless conversations with teenagers is near.  Hallelujah!!!


If we can only find a way to eliminate boom boxes.

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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1 Response to New Study Says Kids Are Nincompoops


    Hate to get off-topic…Wondering if u ever worked for Bill Drake.

    While an undergrad, i did an in-depth research paper for my Broadcasting class, on the Drake-formatted radio stations, of the late-60’s and 70’s.

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