NEWT Wins The Flying Fickle Finger Feather Award

Presented to "Newt Gingrich" for his efforts in defining the meaning of the word A**hole."

NEWT:…..(definition) Any of various semiaquatic salamanders. 

Um, no that’s not the one. 

NEWT:……Any person or thing that can stand great heat. 

Er….almost but not quite what I’m looking for. 

NEWT:…..Mythical lizard or other creature fabled to live in fire. 

Hmmm….close, I’ll take it! 

This might be the best description of that blowhard and A**hole, former Speaker of the House, Newt (salamander) Gingrich.  Here’s a guy that’s so far off base he should be considered AWOL. 

(note to Igor….if Doc Frankenstein sends you the lab for a brain, make sure the name on the jar isn’t Newt) 

Not only that boys and girls, he’s a F*****G jerk. Not that I’m being one-sided here mind you, but look at how this guy, who’s supposed to be a very powerful politician, sets an example of how the rest of us should not act. 

1. He claims to be a self-styled morality cop.  This is the guy who’s setting an example for the rest of us.  He handed his first wife her walking papers while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery. 

“Oh, sorry you have cancer sweetheart, I’m here to support you with these beautiful flowers and divorce papers. Have a nice day.” 

2. Years later, now on his second marriage he did the same thing to his wife not long after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. 

“Oh, sorry to hear that you have multiple sclerosis sweetie, here’s some beautiful flowers for you and some divorce papers. Have a nice day.” 

3. During that marriage, he carried on an affair with a junior House staffer even as he served as speaker while impeaching President Bill Clinton for lying about sex. (the staffer is now his third wife.) 

Geez….hope she doesn’t come down with any life threatening disease……um….well…..I’m sure he’ll support her.  He’s that kinda guy. 

Not to mention that NEWT likes to use the “Nazi” word a lot, and that he actually believes that, according to his second wife, “what he says in public and how he lives don’t have to be connected.” 

Nice guy….we should all follow his example on how to be a great human being. 

Lie your ass off, accuse others of doing wrong, but say that it’s ok if you do, cause you’re the all-powerful and great NEWT, and treat women like objects.  Discard them when they are no longer of use. 

Nice guy.  

So, the name NEWT suits him perfectly.  He’s nothing lower than a common salamander. With all due respect to salamanders of course. 

For all of that, MisfitWisdom awards the “Flying Fickle Finger Feather Award” to dear ol Newt Gingrich.  

Do we need any more examples of how ANYONE in power in Washington can’t relate to us lowly peons? Both political party’s are guilty. In the end its choosing the lesser of two evils.  

In NEWT’S case…… 

I’m sure he’ll still have supporters, (there are stupid people out there) or, if he loses an election, wind up on a reality show…………….. 

Dressed in his usual outfit, which I assume is, something red with a pitchfork and tail accessory. Horny little devil. 

Nice touch don’t ya think? 

(Footnote for you lucky people who read my Bristol Palin blog. Bill O’Reilly is very upset at Jennifer Aniston for her pro-single motherhood comments, calling her “destructive to our society.” Guess he hasn’t heard about Bristol.) 

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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1 Response to NEWT Wins The Flying Fickle Finger Feather Award

  1. Tom says:

    Good hatchet job on the Newt. But you left out his love for Gays, including his daughter. He was Gay bashing, all the while his daughter was gay. What a great Dad.

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