I’m Having A Political Burnout…Quick….Throw Water On Me!

Howdy...I'm Rufus Katt..U.S. Senator askin yer support for mah bill, "No Abortions For Felines"...yep...Ahm Pro-Life"

 

Life used to be so easy. I never worried about anything. Mainly because I didn’t care about anything other than enjoying life and relaxing in front of the boob tube at night.  Then it got to the point that I had a lot of time on my hands. Too much time.  

I began to pay attention to things, which at first, I thought would be a good thing considering most of my life I was so poor I couldn’t even afford to pay attention, never mind the regular bills. 

So, now that I’m actually paying attention, I’m kinda sorry I can afford to. Pay attention that is. 

What bugs me the most, and most likely many of you as well, is the state of our political mindset.  It’s basically garbage. I’ve gotten to the point that I absolutely can’t stand ANY political advertisements. Personally I think we should abolish the entire political system as we know it. 

Here’s my solution.  I’m basing this on the number of negative ads that seep into our brains via the mainstream media, TV, newspapers, magazines, and my friend Bobby down the street.  Although his opinions don’t hold much water and he’s not in the mainstream. He just has a small brook running through his backyard. 

So, let’s abolish the office of the President and Vice President for starters. Then, no one can complain about what the hell they’re doing in office.  Seems logical to me. 

Let Congress make all of the decisions for us and battle it out between themselves. Then they can go at each others throats on the Congressional floor, which by the way, may make for some interesting reality TV programs. 

We could hire Donald Trump as the reality show Congressional moderator, and if one of those bozos we elected screws up….The Donald can say, “you’re fired!” Hell, it would save us from having to go to the voting booth. Fire the jerk and get another Congressional contestant. How bad can that be considering what we have now? 

Next, abolish the position of Speaker of the House.  All of us, for the most part, live in houses, speak for ourselves, so what the heck to we need a Speaker of the House in Washington for? Bye Nancy. 

Anybody in Congress that has a weird name like, Newt, Saxby, Mitt, Eni, Anh, Fortney and Edolphus, (actual first names of members) should be forced to change their names to Tom, Dick or Harry for God’s sake. 

A few others, namely Jeff Flake, (Ariz) is leaving himself wide open for “flake” jokes when he runs for reelection. John Boozeman, (Ark) a candidate for ridicule from non drinkers. Lastly, Jerry Lewis, (Calif) should quit Congress and find a running mate named “Martin” for a possible comedy routine. 

How about Rodney Frelinghuysen, (N.J.)…geeez, he’s got 13 damn letters in his last name…………..a blatant waste of taxpayer alphabet money when it comes to printing his name on campaign flyers.  He should be in baseball along with Jarrod Saltalamacchia, (Red Sox) who has 14 letters in his name that stretches from one armpit on his uniform to the other. I personally have 10 letters in my name but hey, I’m not running for office or play baseball. 

With no President, Vice President, or Speaker of the House, I bet things would run a bit more smoothly. No more worrying about who was born where or if there’s a legitimate birth certificate. No more one party harping on the other party about who sucks running the country. Hey, no one’s running it…so who ya gonna blame now? 

All legislation introduced and proposed by the members of Congress should be downloaded into a computer which in turn is linked to our computers where we have the final vote right from our little cozy homes. EVERYBODY, not just the members of Congress has to approve ANY legislation proposed. 

North Dakota and South Dakota and some questionable mid Atlantic states should have to take a competency test first before we give those people computers and allow them to vote. I base this on the fact that most of those people out there are spending a majority of their time searching for Bigfoot. 

So, with all this in place there would be no more political advertisements on TV. No more slime ball accusations between the parties, and conservative talk show hosts would no longer exist and we could go back to listening to music on the radio, good ol entertaining TV programs, and perhaps Wolf Blitzer doing play by-play sports…………..um…..maybeeeeeee not. 

Geez, I kinda feel a sort of peace of mind here……just for a brief moment. 

Because none of this will ever happen unless hell freezes over, and, as I like to say, a bright star rises in the Eastern sky. 

Until then……..I’m watching re-runs of the Andy Griffith show. That’s as close as I wanna get to anything that taxes my brain. 

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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