India Unveils $35 Dollar Computer…OMG!!!

Take this you no good #@!#@!! son of a dog butt!!!!

Yep, you read the headline correctly….India has unveiled a computer for $35, Sahib. No, I don’t know how many Rupees that’s equal to…look it up.

One can only wonder what effect this will have on the U.S. computer market.  One can only imagine, if the computer made in India, will be able to speak English, or for that matter, understand English.

Have you every attempted to talk to a computer tech or other service representative and reached a foreign country and tried your damnest to understand what the hell they’re saying.  9 out of 10 times you reach some guy in India sitting next to his snake in a basket inhaling curry.

“Ah yesss Mr. Meesfeet, how can I be of assistance to you this fine day?”

“Um, well, I’m having problems with my computer freezing up and I was instructed to call this number.”

“Very goot of you Mr. Meesfeet. Now I want you to enter the following codes into your computer and…………..”

“No, no, you don’t understand, I can’t enter anything into my computer because it’s frozen.”

“Oh, I see Mr. Meesfeet, then perhaps you could re-boot your computer and then enter the following………”

No, no, you don’t get it….I’ve tried everything and it won’t work so that’s why I’m calling you.”

“Ok, I understand your problem Mr. Meesfeet, now simply enter control and alt and then tell me what happens.”

(smoke emitting from my ears)

“I can’t enter anything, my computer is locked up!”

“Oh, I see Mr. Meesfeet, but there is no need to tell me to shut up, I am only attempting to solve this problem sir.”

“I didn’t tell you to shut up, I said my computer is locked up!”

“Oh, so sorry, but if you locked up your computer how are you able to access it now?”

(eyeballs bulging and the urge to smash something)

“I didn’t lock up my computer, I said the computer is locked up, frozen, unable to function, it sucks.”

“Oh my Mr. Meesfeet, there’s no need for that type of language. We do not tolerate the “F” word here in India.”

“I didn’t use the “F” word you stupid SOB, I said my computer sucks.”

“Oh my goodness, there you go again, I’m sorry, I have to refer this call to my supervisor Macklesh…….please hold………”

(eyeballs begin to bleed)

“Hello, is this Mr. Meesfeet?”

“Yeah, and it’s Misfit not Meesfeet, and I’m really getting pissed off about now.”

“Oh so sorry Mr. Meesfeet, perhaps you can explain the problem to me without using foul language.”


“Look, my computer is not functioning and……….”

“Oops, there you go again with the foul language. I’m terribly sorry, we cannot continue this conversation any longer”….click.

You see, there is a giant communication gap between the time the tech from India speaks and the time it reaches your ears.  And vice versa. I’m assuming that’s one of the reasons they worship animals over there, because the animals don’t have to communicate with them. If they did, the Indian suicide rate for animals would skyrocket.

So now we have a $35 dollar computer made in India.  This only means that in order to solve any technical problem with that new computer, you’d once again have to call a tech in India. 

Suicide, to me, would seem like an option at that point.

So in conclusion folks, I would suggest passing on the $35 dollar computer when it comes out next year and stick to computers made in America by Americans who speak the English language clearly and distinctly and can understand the difference between the word F**K and suck while you’re on the phone.

Of course we’ll never see a computer made in American that sells for $35. If we do, the monitor will probably cost you $200. And tech support another $50 bucks.

My advice.  Buy American, when the computer malfunctions, call a tech in the U.S.

Then when he asks you the same stupid questions that the guy in India asks you…………………..

You can plainly and distinctively tell him to go *F**K himself and then hang up.

It’s much more satisfying when you tell someone to F**K off if they understand you…..don’t ya think.

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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