Hold The Hamburger Helper! Now There’s Lion Burgers…


Squirrel Burgers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can see it now, a whole new franchise opportunity.  It’s all because of a restaurant chain in Phoenix, Arizona that’s featuring lions meat. Yum!

(scuse me while I gag myself with a porcupine quill)

According to a news item from the following site, http://www.newsy.com which has a video on this, some people are outraged, and they have even received bomb threats. 

Wonder if anyone checked the postmarks on those bomb threat letters to see if they were perhaps from a local zoo. Lions tend to get ticked off very easily ya know. Hey….I’m just basing my theory on lions from watching the movie “The Lion King” and the lion “Scar.”  Boy was he one pissed off lion.

He was one bad cat, so if anyone sent a letter to that restaurant, it might have been him.  I’d put him high on my suspect list.

These lionburgers, (ugh) with a side of corn on the cob, (honest) sell for $21 dollars a plate. People who tried it said that they could taste no difference.

NO DIFFERENCE IN WHAT!!!  Oh, I get it, no difference from a regular McDonald’s, Burger King or Wendy’s hamburger. Oh joy. I can finally break my “eating dead cows habit.”

Actually, it never bothered me eating dead cows because I grew up on eating them. (sorry animal activists and vegetarians)  But that’s just how it is.  Perhaps if I had been raised by vegetarians or animal activists I might have joined the cause.  For me, because I love hamburgers, it’s waaaaaay to late.  That, and the fact that I’m old and can only afford to eat at fast food hamburger joints.

Hey, what the hell do ya want….I’m livin’ on a damn fixed income. Gimmie a break here!

Back to our story boys and girls. 

A lot of the players at the World Cup are African and they of course revere lions so that poses a problem as well.  And we all know that the lion is supposed to be the king of the jungle so that’s a problem for those lion burger people as well.  Seems like they might have a giant PR problem there.

In defense of their lionburgers, the restaurant states that all of their lion meat comes from lions raised on a farm in Illinois and does not dwindle the lion population in Africa. Great for the African lions but um, not so great for the Illinois lions.  Move guys move….fast!

I don’t think I’ll be going to a “McMane” or “Burgerlion” franchise anytime in the near future.  I don’t care if you really can’t tell the difference. It just seems unreasonable to be killing lions and shoving them between two sesame seed buns when there’s already enough other food that we can eat.

Besides, I could never, ever watch another “Lion King” movie and look Scar in the eye without feeling guilty or tearing up if I ever ate a lionburger.

The only exception I might make is for that damn annoying squirrel type creature, “Scrat” from the “Ice Age” movies.

"Feel lucky...do ya punk....go ahead....make my day."

 Only because my yard is overrun with squirrels and they torment my cats from outside of the patio screen.  (only kidding, I’d never eat a squirrel)

But squirrel burgers do sound kinda tempting…..and who the hell would object?


Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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